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Cut Up Without You

Charlotte Puddifoot Avatar Charlotte Puddifoot - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Cut Up Without You which was written by poet Charlotte Puddifoot. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Cut Up Without You

long dark night
                 
you never say
                 
return to me

this orange bedroom

its open fire

crackling through acetylcholine

tongues like fingers

bodies arched

two spoons

smeared in oils
                    
red and umber

the drifting leaves

the streets advertise
       
allegorical objects

on a wall 
                          
not imagery

for leaving me 
                  
lost with innocence

and weeping 
                    
like the hunted

who flick up
                       
the window of

light-washed sky
               
against the tilted

patchwork fields
                
the falling landscape





written using the surrealist cut-up technique

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  1. Date: 3/16/2014 8:56:00 PM

    You know, I did cut my stanzas apart(not physically like I did back in the day, instead using a program). Then I switched words which didn't make sense, as is, re-mixed the lines with extra 'original' words left over. I used these extra words to add into the re-mixed lines to create a new poem. So, there was mixing, then shifting and injection of the original words. This isn't technically writing a new poem, because there wasn't any 'writing'. But I changed the rawness of the initial 'fall'.

  1. Date: 3/16/2014 8:49:00 PM

    Hullo, Charlotte. Yeah, you did excellent with this technique. Ok, with reading your example, I can see you kept more of the initial rawness. In the past I've tried the cut-up technique were I left the result as is, but for the poem I created today, I didn't do so. I switched some of the words around, and also added extra words to offer more cohesion(but the extra words are original words resulting from the cut....I had an overflow-pool of words to work with. I cut, then re-mixed into new stanzas. Is this too much for your contest? Are you looking for the raw effect; the "let the cards fall as they may" effect"?

  1. Date: 3/13/2014 5:19:00 PM

    How do we know which were your cut up words? do you want us to list them?

  1. Date: 3/2/2014 4:21:00 PM

    I saw your contest about the cut up poem. Is this like blackout poetry? Can I repeat words that I find in an article? Thanks

    Puddifoot Avatar Charlotte Puddifoot Date: 3/2/2014 5:35:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    soup mail
  1. Date: 6/8/2013 8:32:00 AM

    Awesome post sweet friend.Have a lovely weekend

  1. Date: 4/11/2013 10:39:00 AM

    Superbly intense piece. Heartstrings were pulled here...

  1. Date: 4/11/2013 6:47:00 AM

    Hi, Charlotte, just came here to see how you were.

  1. Date: 3/29/2013 6:22:00 PM

    Soupmail

  1. Date: 3/23/2013 12:32:00 PM

    CHARLOTTE, congratulations with your awesome and wonderful poem. Always~ Linda

  1. Date: 3/23/2013 9:12:00 AM

    Ditto on Ruben's comment--so skillfully crafted and a fun read--Thanks Charlotte!

  1. Date: 3/22/2013 8:44:00 PM

    I love your surrealistic cut-up technique, Charlotte! I love this poem and Im going to fav it! Excellent write ... one of the best in this list of winners! Congratulations on your win! Ruben.

  1. Date: 3/22/2013 7:03:00 PM

    I'd love to learn more about this form. Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

  1. Date: 3/17/2013 10:27:00 AM

    This arrangement speaks of being used or being left in a sad way. A very interesting form. Enjoyable to read it as an arranged puzzle.

  1. Date: 3/16/2013 5:58:00 PM

    Interesting, isn't it, how a random selection of phrases makes sense? I like to think of writing this way (I do too) analogous to collage in art. Nice work! Jack

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 12:50:00 PM

    Lovely poem!

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 1:06:00 AM

    It's very good. Nice seeing you here tonight, Charlotte. How goes it?

  1. Date: 3/14/2013 6:45:00 PM

    A deep and allegorical cut-up, Charlotte, it makes a great read. Glad that you liked IVF . To me too, yours was the most impressive of the lot in the challenge and the one i guessed right:) Jag