Another sleepless night Im having
Bothered by these unfair thoughts.
Crippled by the guilt im feeling
Destroying my once lovely dreaming.
Every time I see her face
Fear rips through my tightened chest.
Gentle laughter now forgotten
Hatred for myself still blooming.
I feel as though Im always followed
Jumping at each and every noise.
Keeping to myself and crying
Learning to hide from my nightmares.
Maybe one day I'll be just fine
No longer blaming myself.
Or perhaps I will never change
Possibly only becoming worse.
Quizzical is my way of thinking
Ridiculous I have become.
Sulking in my darkened shadow
Teetering on the line of insanity.
Unwanted pain fills my soul
Vanquishing my beautiful memories.
Withering away from everybody
Xenophobe I now have become.
Zealous I will never be again.