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Searching the crowd

Raychael Tone Avatar    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Searching the crowd which was written by poet Raychael Tone. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Searching the crowd

My life was simple
Until I held the door
For one man, and nothing more
A simple thank you would have been enough
But I turned around 

In a split second
My life turned upside down
For a man I don’t know
And never knew

Pale white skin
Dark brown eyes

I lusted
I sinned
I swore I’d never do it again

You came 
We talked
Blah blah blah
My nerves settled in
Palms sweating, eyes meeting
Talk felt like vomit

A name; all I knew
Then I kept seeing you
We locked eyes and stared
Anxious; you told me to calm

But you had plans,
And I was stuck
Still stuck; this is what I am.

So I made my decision,
To look at you like a stranger
For I knew
What I’d do to a man like you

My looks deceiving
My body hiding secrets
Bearing a child
Covered in scars
Hidden away; a partner patiently waiting

At night I look to the man in the bed,
Never wanting to be myself again
Lusting for a man I never knew

You stopped and stared
Searching the crowd promptly at noon
I looked back, never daring to say a word
For I knew what I would get myself into

My heart aching and beating
Watching and waiting,
While you stood patiently

Ignore you, I could not do
I just glared
And the eyes were returned

But I didn’t stand my ground
I was stuck.
And this I swore not to do to you

While he plans 
And I stay awake, wishing for more talks

Talks we shared, now I can only rehearse
Lying wide awake in my bed
Thinking of a smile and tattoos

Since those days
I have looked for my exit
My way out

And his eyes once more
To be given a second chance
But he is gone

Never to see this man again,
Stuck in my regret,
I am stuck.

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