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The man was shot in the head

todd borstad Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled The man was shot in the head which was written by poet todd borstad. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The man was shot in the head

The man was shot in the head


The man stood up and talked about ethics and morality
They shot him and ripped him apart
and said it was his fault 
The study said he didn’t fit in
So they had to kill him
And took him down to the river and let him go
Nobody was really happy about it
But nobody cried either

They said he was born this way
Risking death for life 
Knowing many ways to die
And hoping his friend still loved him
Watching the sun go down 
Waiting for the morning to come
Seeing the night as a dream
And knowing when it’s over

Someone told him to dance
And truth ripped through him 
And he couldn’t go back
And he was alone
Like the power they gave him
And the love they didn’t have
He called himself intense
Nobody knew how to help him

The man was shot in the head
On a Friday afternoon at the government center
The air was still and the sun was shining
Someone called out his name
And said safety is his friend
The truth was on his side
He hoped his friend still loved him
He turned around and they shot him in the head

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  1. Date: 3/23/2013 6:17:00 PM

    Todd, Congratulations with your Featured Poem of the week. Wishing you the best this new coming week. Take care :-) Linda

  1. Date: 3/21/2013 7:49:00 AM

    The intention is fine, the expression not too bad, but there is no melodic coherence, no flow and no rhytm, perhaps you didn't want to achieve any, but this way it just sounds like a narration.

    borstad Avatar todd borstad Date: 3/21/2013 10:05:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks for the feedback. Kind of was going for the reality approach of just saying it. thanks again and I will check out your poems for maybe an example of what you mean. Todd
  1. Date: 3/18/2013 4:44:00 AM

    This is well done. Is this based on a real incident? Just curious. Cheers. Rick