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haiku six

Debbie Duncan Avatar Debbie Duncan - LIFETIME Premium Member Debbie Duncan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled haiku six which was written by poet Debbie Duncan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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haiku six

               i find your name
           rolling across my tongue
           but you never come true

                         days of old     gone
                        words dripped on pages
                         and I read them still 

          bees are buzzing with bliss 
           honey drips from tongue
             buckets filled with rum  

                       eyes of blue 
                      you are so true
                   I'm still leaving you 

                 you call my name
           i'm going the opposite way
        i just don't have time for you today 

     we were the best of friends
      it was the best of times
      then love got in the way

 I wrote these "all" in 2011,,, I know they're not the  5 - 7 - 5 ,,,, but here I am posting.

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  1. Date: 9/15/2013 6:35:00 PM

    Debbie, sometimes I believe we let form limit our emotion. We strain to meet the rules and somehow lose the core intent of the verse..... I loved it and never counted any syllables at all.... Jake

  1. Date: 4/20/2013 12:05:00 PM

    Very unique; penned with much emotion. I like how it ended. The 3rd one is just sublime! -- Sean

  1. Date: 4/18/2013 6:47:00 PM

    Debbie, your haiku are perfect I like the 3rd one... and for some reason I feel as if you had fun writing down these haiku,,,,, always~ Linda

  1. Date: 4/7/2013 11:29:00 PM

    Nicely done, I enjoyed all of your work to this point and looking forward to reading more.

  1. Date: 4/5/2013 10:18:00 AM

    I think they are very beautifully expressed. 54321, whatever, right? Much emotion, here. Thanks for your comment on my site....xxoo Holly Moore

  1. Date: 4/4/2013 8:13:00 PM

    An enjoyable set and quite jaunty in their own way .......glad you had time for me today.....tee hee SuZ

  1. Date: 4/4/2013 10:41:00 AM

    Beautiful one. Loved always, bl

  1. Date: 4/1/2013 6:28:00 AM

    What I think you have said here is that time and love have so many different outcomes. The license you have taken with the 5-7-5 only adds to the setting. So you are a free spirit. Me--I have decided to stick to one form just for the sake of ease and image. You have my admiration and respect for all that you do with words. I do so enjoy looking at your writing. You are so cool!

  1. Date: 3/27/2013 10:07:00 PM

    'honey drips from the tongue buckets full of rum' Yes! Gorgeous.

  1. Date: 3/14/2013 10:55:00 AM

    Haikus don't have to be 5 7 5 - they can be different because the 5 7 5 relates to an Asian form. Love gets in the way of a lot of things. Stimulating work here! Peace & Love Matthew Anish

  1. Date: 3/6/2013 2:39:00 PM

    .... I do not count ....... It is YOUR (!) Haiku! - And it is very well written!! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 3/6/2013 6:50:00 AM

    I agree with what Andrea has to say, they are enjoyable. Thanks for stopping by.

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 8:56:00 PM

    Debbie, I am really glad you posted these because they make for a very fun read. The first two are my very favorites. They are all very sweet how they relate to love.

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 5:12:00 PM

    I love your writing Debbie, you seem like an old friend to me.....

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 4:19:00 PM

    These are a lot of fun. You are definitely your own person! Thank-you for all your comments.

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 3:26:00 PM

    lovely to read Debbie.. and that is what counts..

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 10:44:00 AM

    Wow, very lovely haiku's you penned here Debbie. Thanks for sharing. Hugs and luv, Gail

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 8:13:00 AM

    Expressive work...Enjoyed reading this one today..Thanks for stopping by ..There are two ways to write ABC form under that form on this site..One is much easier than the other...Cyndi that sponsored the contest required couplets about topics listed with a couplet at the end summarizing the poem..So it was hard..I ran the idea over and over in my thoughts for days and figured that the contest was closed then started writing ..I then looked and the contest wasn't closed so I entered..Sara

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 8:10:00 AM

    sweet is another lovely haiku... so nicely written... enjoyed so much...wishing you all the best dear :) <3 Sk

  1. Date: 3/5/2013 2:41:00 AM

    Nice work, I enjoyed the third one. Keep up the good work...