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Hourglass, spindle and lifeless Doll Free Verse Version

Richard Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux - LIFETIME Premium Member Richard Lamoureux - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Hourglass, spindle and lifeless Doll Free Verse Version which was written by poet Richard Lamoureux. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Hourglass, spindle and lifeless Doll Free Verse Version

String wrapped around a spindle
Unwinding as an hourglass marks time
Sand trickles to the chamber below
Marking the moments of a life not truly lived
The sound of silence begins to drive him mad
Traveling back in time
To the nightmare of a life of dread 
Memories that should never be relived
The torture chamber of his mind
Screams in the darkness
Rocking to an internal beat
Feeling a pain to deep to express
Betrayal
Confusion
You could not protect her from him
She seemed so small
Holding that lifeless doll
Rocking there on that floor
That same internal beat
Together you cried
Together you rocked
A clock strikes
Silence is broken
The hourglass sits
A pile of white sand
If only time could truly stop
He winds the string back onto the spindle
Then he rocks
Alone in the dark
Thinking of her lifeless doll

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  1. Date: 3/16/2013 12:38:00 PM
    RICHARD, this is a nice winning poem. CONGRATULATIONS!!! ;-) always~ PD

  1. Date: 3/16/2013 3:04:00 AM
    Sad, stunning and mesmerizing work here, Richard...Each line a gem...Congratulations - Tim

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 7:36:00 PM
    Congrats on your big win Rick :D wishing you a great day :D hug, Yanny

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 4:47:00 PM
    Richard, I enjoyed the suspenseful pacing in your piece a lot. Congratulations! -Jeremy

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 1:59:00 PM
    The drama in the story poem built up so well, then the crash, then the burn...sad tale but well done. Congratulations on making the winners list in the contest.

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 6:58:00 AM
    Very nice, Richard! Congratulations on your win! Ruben.

  1. Date: 3/15/2013 6:56:00 AM
    Richard well done. Congrats on your win. Warm Smiles, Connie

  1. Date: 2/19/2013 7:56:00 AM
    Wonderful job! I got shivers reading this one. (And yes, I'm a fellow Canadian! Thanks for your kind comment :) Whereabouts in Canada are you?)

    Ober Avatar Heather Ober
    Date: 2/21/2013 7:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I have never been to BC! It's on my list though. I'm hoping to sucker one of my friends into joining me on a road trip across Canada sometime soon. Maybe come back through the states on the way back.
    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/19/2013 8:04:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Originally Kirkland Lake in Northern Ontario. I now live in Kelowna British Columbia.
  1. Date: 2/19/2013 4:12:00 AM
    Cool

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/19/2013 7:02:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Gypsy.
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 11:24:00 PM
    This one looks really deep than the first one, but the first one makes me feel creepier, maybe because of the first impression of it :), another treasure from you Rick, looking at your work made me imagine an amazing mystery of this story :), wishing you a great day there :). Hug, yanny

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/19/2013 7:01:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Yanny, it is good that my poem caused an emotional reaction.
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 8:26:00 PM
    Richard, of course I read every single poem you post.....this one gave me a feeling of anguish and desperation...but...the inner meaning is somehow lost to me! I read two versions hoping for the light to shine, but...I'm still left wondering. The wording is awesome, but I want the inner meaning...

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/18/2013 9:55:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Soupmail
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 6:55:00 PM
    Another wow...........I think I am getting a better picture of this story...and is more haunting than ever! Wonderful writing!

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/18/2013 10:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Carrie
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 6:23:00 PM
    Yeah who is him????? Great....I think......haha

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/18/2013 10:13:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    In this poem it's the evil step father.
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 5:16:00 PM
    ooh, hair on the back of my neck is standing up. creepy. This is very good. p.s. where in canada are you fellow Canuck

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/19/2013 7:00:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    I love the west, you couldn't pay me enough to move away from BC.
    Roberts Avatar Francine Roberts
    Date: 2/18/2013 5:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    oh, I'm as west as it gets, Vancouver Island - Nanaimo
    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/18/2013 5:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    originally Kirkland Lake now living in Kelowna British Columbia. I spent a number of years in Kitchener Ontario. Where are you from??
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 5:08:00 PM
    This is a truly eerie write my friend! I loved reading this amazing poem, no matter how creepy it may be! What a fabulous piece, Great Work!!

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/18/2013 5:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    thanks Russell, did you read the original one I wrote in prose??
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 5:03:00 PM
    Hello Richard, this is my kind of free falling poem.. i like the together line, they mock a tick in my mind.. over and over again... kind of creepy... but excellent ~PD

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/18/2013 5:07:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    thanks Linda, I am glad you liked it.
  1. Date: 2/18/2013 9:20:00 AM
    sad but eerie too, a very effective poem and a good piece for the contest

    Lamoureux Avatar Richard Lamoureux
    Date: 2/18/2013 3:01:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks!