She Wrote To Me
My secret lover I left you 5 years ago I could not take it anymore I had
to fill my emptiness without you since I left I would cut out my heart
every night & in the morning its full again.
I got married to a rich noble politician thinking I can forget you I made
myself well known here in London as a musician playing the piano in
my own theater every night.
The theater was full the sound of my piano was known to everybody
living all over London due to my husbands political involvement in the
area for many years the whole theater would be booked.
My entrance was always approached with loud voices cheering till I give
the sign of performing .That specific night i was in a very determined
mood to involve my audience listen to the sound of my piano around
and everywhere the lights were on me already but no sign to begin
waiting for another noble to make his entry in the front row.
I was wearing that long dress in black and white strapless the one I had
worn on our first date doing my best to belong to my audience tonight
while craving to catch a glimpse of your existence live standing opposite
me the way we were your place was empty but not in my heart.
The audience were standing up clapping waiting impatiently to listen to
what they had already known music from the tip of my fingers will allow a pause through their breathing.
The lights dimmed no introduction was needed I was going to play an old
tune from the 80`s called Feelings remember when we danced to that tune I am dedicating this musical evening to you my love my first lover before we were obliged to be separated due to family upbringing.
That same evening tragedy stole my expectations of living a love to
perform an absolute change of a physical identity a living spirit awaiting
to be executed when suddenly I collapsed unconscious on stage my fingers
were numb my blood betrayed my heart.
It was a heart attack paralyzing me on the left side cure or no cure
is still unknown that had left me scarred when witnessing my dreams
shatter in disrepair.
I have been forced retirement at a prime age left me with no choice
but hide behind the shadows of the twilight and abdicate my thrown
to an unknown.
Escape was a forgotten word before this chute as an invalid carcass today
my escape to the cottage was essential as maybe a celestial miracle would prevail.
The cottage by the deep sea will become my quarantine from what was an enlighten world to a world of darkness my retirement was a runaway from
the mockery of mankind who might disperse my dissipated soul.
My shutters are unclosed as their usage was worthless brightness and
obscurity made no difference to me in that room.
The ocean view struck me by its calmness the huge waves today were
not prepared to release their passion and splash on the shore to bring
forth their own melody.
I went for a walk walking like in a dream a dream with no feelings of body
and soul the moon provided me to detect another lonely shadow of a stranger yet this time it was the shadow of a lost fish wavering on the sand nearly lifeless our eyes met it needed to be rescued I said to myself even not feeling my withered hand I bent down kindly carried it and threw it back to life what a wonderful sensation. You will do that to me my darling, I will wait.
My decision to escape to the un inhibited cottage was a knowledgeable
step as only seclusion and spiritual wounds would heal to prompt a new attitude that will lessen my sorrow and inspire my moral to long for
a tomorrow differing than a yesterday.
Stand by me today my awakening will hoist a sparkling light of recovery
during this long coming journey. Intentionally I am your free woman.
Here I will sleep now until destiny will allow both of us to cure and leave our fears behind with our past and together venture back to where we belong.
I loved you and still love you. Me!