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In a hotel room

In a hotel room

Still in his teens and anxious, 
He finds a friend, older, though
To guide him one day into
The world of adults.

At dusk they are in a room
In the town’s snazzy hotel.
He  sweats a lot, but his love,
Cool and snappy, sat.

She does not flinch at his touch
But bites at his lips when kissed
He floats in a new pleasure
Increasing  ever.

The more he took her, the more
He wanted , and  in a while
All spent and done with, he hit
The  bed and dozed off.

His mate was but a bottle
Of scotch and not a woman
He woke up smiling at his
Blind date with liquor.

@10th Feb 2013.

Form: Dodoitsu (7-7-7-5)

For Susan’s “in a hotel room”

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  1. Date: 2/19/2013 9:36:00 AM

    Innocence.

  1. Date: 2/12/2013 3:05:00 PM

    This is a great poem. A lot can happen to kids when they try to play adult games. They never win. A good one for the contest. Lucilla

  1. Date: 2/12/2013 6:16:00 AM

    Oh, I see... that does make it more clear... Before you changed it, I got that he had been drinking, but I thought that he had been with a woman too... now I see what is going on here .. :D It's very clever! "bites at his lips when kissed" lol That's good. :) ~soup mail~

  1. Date: 2/11/2013 7:57:00 AM

    Blind date with... aaahahaha Yes I noticed that but .... I wasn't sure it was what I thought it meant.... excellent write my friend :) (but still steamy! lol)

    Nair Avatar S.Jagathsimhan Nair Date: 2/11/2013 8:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    The last line doesn't seem to register, Becca, so I changed the entire stanza.
  1. Date: 2/11/2013 5:04:00 AM

    - Surely many people have that experience in a hotel room. - Good luck in the contest, Jag. - Have a nice new week. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 2/10/2013 11:30:00 PM

    Steamy! :D

  1. Date: 2/10/2013 11:08:00 PM

    sounds like he had a very nice "first time" experience. WEll penned!!