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Night Angel

Rachel Kovacs Avatar Rachel Kovacs - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Night Angel which was written by poet Rachel Kovacs. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Poet's Notes About The Poem
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This poem was written in response to a story about a young child who was rescued after an abduction by a stranger who felt something was wrong. I have revised this poem at the suggestions of some readers. 


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Night Angel

They needed help
Walking alone in the dark.
The man.
The child.
A broken down car.
The child frightened,
But not understanding
The terror
That would soon
Come her way.
Her parents petrified
That their baby was gone,
Agonizing
Over forbidden images
That crowded their way
Past ice cream sundays
And birthday parties
And wedding days.
A passer-by.
A doer of good deeds.
He stops.
He sees.
He looks into
the little girl's eyes.
Bravely
The girl speaks,
"This is not my dad"
And the coward
who took her,
He runs.
He hides.
The passer-by,
Believing he saved
A child
From a long, cold walk,
In reality
Saved a child
From a long, cold death.

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  1. Date: 3/10/2013 10:30:00 AM
    If only strangers care, they wouldn't be strangers anymore.

  1. Date: 2/8/2013 8:30:00 PM
    !!!

  1. Date: 1/26/2013 2:55:00 PM
    powerful write - congrats on your wins, my friend

  1. Date: 1/24/2013 1:22:00 PM
    David gave you some useful advice, but I would say that I love this no matter what form it takes... because the words say what they need to say to the reader no matter what. That's my opinion at least :) Very well done

  1. Date: 1/22/2013 6:18:00 PM
    Thank you for the feedback everyone. I do not know much about form at this point, but I will try to learn that one.

  1. Date: 1/21/2013 8:32:00 AM
    Kind of agree with David and the others BUT overall, a very compelling write! Welcome my new friend! Hugs, Jack

  1. Date: 1/21/2013 1:55:00 AM
    Hi Rachel I get it...the only thing I would suggest is your format, you have chosen a dark theme which should be read slowly, to be absorbed slowly, the format should deliberately slow the reader down, but because you have few words per line it scans too fast the readers eyes jump quickly from line to line, try putting the same feeling into something like a double Etheree, as in an ascending/diminishing one...as I say the theme is good try a different format...David

  1. Date: 1/20/2013 6:54:00 AM
    It was written about a news story about a man who abducted a child and then the child was rescued before anything happened to her because the abductor's car broke down and a passerby felt something was wrong when he stopped to help. The abductor tried to lie, but the girl spoke up. She didn't actually said those words, but she asked for help. I will work on it. Specific suggestions appreciated.

  1. Date: 1/19/2013 8:21:00 PM
    ok I've read it about 3 times , still lost, man and child? is the man a kidnapper. "she" is a force to be reckoned with. who is "she", parent? passerby?. He saved child from long cold death? thats the passerby. Too many he/she's, left me very confused. Was I supposed to be confused? .... Anyway, like the theme. its interesting, made me think

  1. Date: 1/19/2013 7:46:00 PM
    Welcome to soup. This is very interesting. I enjoyed the tale. I will go see how you do in another form of poetry.