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Life I have known
I have a fear,
still residing within me.
The fear of my own
stupidity.
The fear of living this life alone.
Maybe it is fitting that I deserve to be
this way.
To know that only one could have ever
accepted as I was.
Yet I did not truly deserve her.
But that is behind me now.
To give up the only thing
I thought I wanted,
what I thought I needed.
Yet after the fact,
it wasn't something I truly
was ready for.
I have finally seen myself
for who and what I am.
I do not know if I will ever get
another chance.
If I will ever be accepted by another.
As I look at the conditions
in my life,
the lacking,
the unwanted qualities,
and characteristics.
From the material to the immaterial,
maybe it is best if this life be lived
as I know it best.
The way I live right now, alone.
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