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Haiku

Jack Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Haiku which was written by poet Jack Jordan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Haiku

Man in a black hat
He’s angry; his life bores him
Sleet begins to fall

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  1. Date: 8/16/2013 5:51:00 PM
    here's your first soup Haiku,.. great imagery, and ending action. :-) :-)...Linda

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 8/16/2013 6:11:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks. I hope I've learned something about haiku since this one. Lots of folks have been kind enough to advise me along the way... Jack
  1. Date: 7/26/2013 10:38:00 AM
    [he sputters red faced/ as him dons his hat and leaves -- sleet falls] try to SHOW anger not tell us he is angry, see? Light & Love [also stick to showing one thing show him bored OR angry LIght & Love

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/26/2013 10:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Yes, I see what you mean. Thanks as always... Jack
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 7/26/2013 10:39:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    even doning the hat & the second action leaving is a bit too much stick to 1 action, and 1 subject it's just safer
  1. Date: 7/6/2013 10:34:00 PM
    :-) enjoying your Featured Poem of the week. take care and have yourself a great coming week. xox~ LINDA"

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/7/2013 6:25:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, Linda. The week will be one of recovery from weeks of travel, but that's not so bad. A fine week to you too... Jack
  1. Date: 7/4/2013 2:45:00 PM
    Jack, your compositions are brilliant. Love this . Congrats to finding it on the Featured Poem of the Week :)

    Jordan Avatar Jack Jordan
    Date: 7/4/2013 5:39:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks, Karen. I really appreciate the comment... Jack
  1. Date: 7/4/2013 10:22:00 AM
    JACK, Congratulations on your Featured Poem of the week. have a nice 4th of July. *SKAT