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BAD HABBIT

SILENCE ZVARAYA Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled BAD HABBIT which was written by poet SILENCE ZVARAYA. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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BAD HABBIT

   
           
Pinioned to   my   world of ambivalence.
I cry,
I   sob,
It will   not let go.
In me it rises like the sun.
I   stare still.
Like a burden I   barge of its   weight.
The bidding always whispers,
Don`t   let go,
Let go,
And I   shall not let go.
I  do  it  at  ease  but  regret  with  grim  pain .
Vent the feeling but the worry shall blossom.
My mind shall burn.
My heart will ache.
Tears will trickle,
But   with a smile.
Sit on the king’s   throne,
Wearing a crown of thorns.
The world of regrets will always shelter me.
Like a dodger tricks my weak heart.
Like wind,
blows  away  my  wishes  for  the  good .
Forever it is the prison of   my   good heart.
With vigour in my   heart I   pursue it.
But with a   weak despondent heart,
I am bound to regrets.
The will   is not in me,
but  the compulsion  whispers  in  my  world  always .
What matters won`t   matter until I have done it.
What   doesn`t matter matters after I   have   done it.
The will of my heart,
Never compromise with the will of   my flesh,
It seems unbridgeable.
When  I   say  no  I  go  weak  and  lonely .
When  I  say  yes  I   sink  in  pain .
Maybe   agree.
Maybe   disagree.
Bitter - sweet   never sweet.
I   own the keys to these fetters,
But I shall unlock them.
Bound to it I shall   not let go.
Who then shall   set me   free?
I desire   it!
I   despise it!
Living in these two worlds.
What  I  truly  want  is  not  what  I  do .
What  I  do  is  what  I  don`t   want  to  do .
I know no understanding   of what I do.
The motives and the emotions of mine,
Shall never agree.
This friend I love to hate,
Hate that I love.
You are my comrade to my ending,
but  my  enemy  at  my  ending .
My heart knows,
but still I hate to   hate   you.
Nestling on my soft spot,
Drives   my   emotions and reactions,
to the land of worry.
But  still  I  bow  down  to  your  decoy .
Understanding   nothing of mine.
Who am I?
Where to?
Maybe it is a weakness in me.
For  long   I  shall  run  away  from  my  shadow ,
Being a stranger in my own life.


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  1. Date: 2/23/2013 12:07:00 PM
    Silence, , today's a lovely day, and here you find me reading the feature poems of the week. !!CONGRATULATIONS with your nice verse!! always~ LINDA :-)

  1. Date: 1/15/2013 5:25:00 PM
    Silence, wow..them are strong feelings to have ..i like the way you called them habits. love and hate are born from the same form...maybe that is why you hate to hate this person...xox~LINDA