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Neanderthals

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Below is the poem entitled Neanderthals which was written by poet David Fisher. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Neanderthals

Weary of the mindless malls,
We journey out to view the scrawls
Etched by the Neanderthals.

And there compelling to us all,
We stand speechless and enthralled
Observing scenes both large and small.

Of grazing beasts in boundless stalls,
Diffused in peaceful, stoic sprawls
Waiting for nothing, nothing at all.

Look, if you dare, upon the next wall.
Where speared brutes bleed waterfalls;
Caught unawares, we were quite appalled.

Now listen closely to hear the squalls
And whoops and cries of Neanderthals;
Wreaking carnage in that bloody brawl.

The natives succeeded to shock and maul,
Then worked together to bring the haul
Into their prehistoric mess-hall.

An eon ago the creatures stood tall,
Walking nobly, since not made to crawl.
Now blood dyed granite, marks their fall.

It’s time to leave but I try to stall
By using my knife to get a spall,
But not today, my name is called. 

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  1. Date: 11/23/2013 6:12:00 PM
    You've taken me to a different place, and time. Excellent write. As said below, I'm in awe of your monorhyme, so seemingly effortless.

  1. Date: 3/23/2013 10:10:00 AM
    It was really original how you expressed yourself. Seeing the beauty and intrigue of a time so long ago (and nice comparison to the somewhat superficial appeal of shopping malls). This is called a monorhyme btw... very difficult style to write in but you pulled it off effortlessly!

  1. Date: 1/20/2013 5:42:00 PM
    love the way you want to flee the mall, so you go look at cave paintings....and become drawn up into them..and then, you want to linger, yet must leave....prehistoric mess - hall..very funny.... your voice is clear and clever...you make the reader want to grab him and run away....great write!

  1. Date: 1/16/2013 7:08:00 PM
    Awesome....this was captivating to read...

  1. Date: 1/14/2013 9:13:00 PM
    Enjoyable write...and all !! lol Very creative and I found a few chuckles !! Thanks for dropping by my page.

  1. Date: 1/14/2013 7:48:00 PM
    Ha,ha..Nice write here,David...Very much enjoyed.