(This was written to a step-mom, not a Real mom)
I walk down the desolate roads,
Thinking idly to myself of you,
And your large black truck,
that I loved seeing in our driveway.
And now as every large black truck rolls by,
I think of you, and hope to see you in the tinted windows,
and I stare and dream,
but its never you.
Today I got home, and looked up to the house,
almost in tears, looking at your beautiful pink flowers,
slowly creeping up the house,
I dread coming here anymore.
you've missed so much,
and I cry for you thinking of all thats passed,
The first day you missed my play,
and I felt my heart crumble.
When I needed you to tell me right from wrong,
when I got myself wrapped up in another girl,
thinking I could replicate what I had with Shannon,
till she was back. I found it to be a mistake.
When I went through Poetry slam,
choking on the poem I wrote for you and dad,
knowing I wanted to read it aloud at slam,
but knowing I couldnt put myself through that.
When I had my experience with The Spirit,
filling my body, wiping away my tears,
Making me happy when I thought the world was hopeless,
That happened just a few days ago.
When I was with Shannon,
taking our relationship to the next level,
Becoming one through physical bonds finally,
after 6 months. I wanted to tease you with my Innocence.
You missed so much in these past 2 months,
And I know you wont be back for a while,
if at all,
but I finally decided to write this.
I was scared to write this.
Scared of the tears.
I just couldnt pull myself to write this,
finally I forced myself unto the Pencil.
And this Sunday. Mothers Day,
How I am dreading that one day.
Because of all the people I could have chosen as my true mother,
I chose you, and no longer are you here.