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Should I Be Blamed

Gerald Nforche Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Should I Be Blamed which was written by poet Gerald Nforche. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Should I Be Blamed

(autobiographical)


I was barely eight before mother died
When Gerald was happy and not as reduced
When he was the loved son
The child with a loving home.

From aunt to aunt I learned to live
Out of the anger of dad
Out of the voice that brought fear.
Into the hand of pestilence-

My second life began-
A life of maltreatment,
A life of struggle
Elder brother disowned when he revolted
The treatment harsh and inhuman - so he bolted.

I joined the struggle
The life of scuffle
Wherein I was the marked
The recalcitrant and ragged
The delinquent in school
The tortured child of the family's few
Who outlived the deads of two aunts
Beseeched to care for him.

I am half mad, they tell me
I know I am a psychic
Half crazed child
A ricochet of mum’s death-

I have been alienated
Disillusioned by life, ill-fated
Tortured by a disturbed mind.

Dad on my heels
Listening to propaganda
murder-bent at my heels
flogged  flogged  flogged till I go for pills.

Fled my home to the street
Ate from the bin
Lived with street kids
One of the flocks
One of the hard rocks.

I have been in the cold
No bosom have rocked with me
Save mum’s who lies in the clay.
I am spiritually dead
Physically out of mind, they say.

From pastor to pastor
From prayers to prayers
From recessions to intercessions,
Through starvation for correction
I remain unchanged.
I am finished, they say.
Nothing can help me
save God on whom I weep and call.

My relatives
Alienate me
making me atychiphobic
Aggravating my anthropophobia
building in me gelotophobia  
and all those anthropological phobias
A loved child has no right to know.
It bringing me pain for they are nailing me shut.

I pity myself - Pity me father
Pity me, brother
Because I have tried
Tried to be loved
Tried to be the best from limps
But I am not up to those dreams.

I know that many dislike me
Feel uneasy when Gerald is around:
Instead of helping me
They  become indifferent, violent.

I told Louisa last week as she fumed at methat
anything I lay my hands on
fails to work again.
It either gets bad or broken.
My own things end up craggy
No matter the patience and prudence I put in.

Why then am I born?
Why the fear
Why the alienation?


I pray that I be left alone
Donot curse me again, donot.
Accept my fate and let me be
Else you help in killing me.

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  1. Date: 5/27/2013 11:53:00 AM
    This is powerful bro! You touched me. Lets show the world together that Cameroon too has something to offer!

  1. Date: 2/22/2013 2:48:00 AM
    Brother i feel you. This is a master peace thanks for representing Cameroon so powerfully.

    Nforche Avatar Gerald Nforche
    Date: 3/9/2013 2:32:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    oh God, thanks bro, i will like to meet with you