Sometimes I ask myself..
Is it me?
Or is it you?
Could it possibly be us?
How can I fix it..
I lie in bed and wonder..
Am I really the worst thing to ever happen to you?
Or maybe I’m the biggest mistake to ever enter your life..
I really doubt it..
But there’s always these questions:
Would you rather I bring home Fs..
Suspension notices from school…
Maybe even expelled letters or something..
Would you rather me stay out past curfew,
Or wait, maybe never even come back home..
Would you rather me need a ride home from a party,
One that just got shot up?
Would you rather me continue asking for rides
Home from school..
Would you rather me bring home an extra mouth to feed,
Knowing I, myself, can’t provide for he/she?
Would you rather me find happiness in the streets,
Or continue to find it in my books?
Would you rather me continue spending time
In my room alone,
Or would you rather me go out,
Drink n’ Drive,
& spend my time in a cell with ppl I barely even know..
Would you rather look at me and smile,
Thinkin “It Coulda been Worst”..
Or look at me & frown saying
“Where did I go wrong?”
Would you rather me ask you first,
Or sneak around?
Would you rather me,
Steal your money,
Or ask for it,
Knowing I’m not the only one you’re providing
But only to be confronted with the answer of NO,
& becoming engaged with rage…
Ohh wait! Or would you rather me,
Sit back, & not ask at all..
Because I already kno what the outcome will be…
Would you rather me dawg you behind your back..
Or keep it all held in..
Cry from day to day and not even know why..
Sometimes I wonder… Am I really that bad ?
And Did I really become the biggest mistake you made?