Baby’s First Poetry Slam
(Warning! Not to be read allowed to newborns!)
Back away from my stroller!
Quit handling me like a video game controller!
And stop crowding me!
I feel like I can’t breathe!
Is this how you treat the newest member of your family?
And what’s with these ten thousand outfits?
And all these camera poses?
And what about the countless hours I’m forced to look up adult’s noses?
Trust me! Their breath is no bed of roses!
Life is very stressful trying to be your perfect baby!
If Osh Kosh or Gerber offer me a franchise deal
I’m packing my diaper bag—
Written for Poet Destroyer’s Gerber Baby Picture Contest
Based on a picture of my new grandson, Sebastian. (Poor kid!!)