Submit a Poem
Get Your Premium Membership
spacer
Pinterest button
Comments Inbox

 

BENEFACTOR'S EYES


From "The Defiant Haiku"



I guard … I ready
Looking at him who is sleeping.
The night fades. I keep on!

Please Login to post a comment
 
  1. Date: 12/29/2012 6:48:00 PM

    This is an interesting one because I can't figure out if this is a someone sleeping who is to be trusted or not! (the title tells me one thing but the lines make me think something different)

    Zamalea Avatar George Zamalea Date: 12/29/2012 7:22:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Andrea, Thank you for telling me about the confusion. Many poets of Poetry Soup have noticed it and they have been sending me emails about that. I read it back again here in Canada where I would be to read a couple of poems and I noticed it. But my intention with which the initial stanzas have taken by such dry effect I was thinking to make it as a mysterious speaker; it seemed now too dark to comprehend. Now by reading it I was producing in that way a second stanza (“personal emotion”) or ageku on such transition to show more vividly the form and condensation of these following stanzas : “Who is “ (the boy) sleeping” and that would give a new translation who may be the speaker and the subject. Nevertheless, I could also play at the old game of capping stanzas by changing it or expanding or adapting something new; but it would be a different haiku.