Am I seeing the moon for the first time tonight? The universe stretches out beyond my fragile soul. I will go inside myself, this perigee moon illuminates me. I dredge the murky residue of failures, I’m searching for the cause, I think I am responsible. Why can’t I cry anymore?
Life is not theatre. My soul is my salvation, and yet I have thrown it away, I am lazy. Look up at the sky, see the vast perfection of the cosmos, I belong to the cosmos. It’s so simple, and obvious. The moon is full of truth and love, unconditional. As a man, I am poor, almost bankrupt.
Not only have I betrayed myself, but also those I love. My love has no power, no conviction. Are there forces of evil in the cosmos that I have fallen into, or have I traveled there of my own free will? My own free will, yes I think I have done this to myself. Excuses and justifications, what good are they if I cannot cry?
I am secular in my faith, why don’t I believe? The lack of values doesn’t lead to freedom, but corruption. It’s so easy to justify a point of view, to betray your heart. And pride also gets in the way, it’s easier to deceive yourself. But the cosmos doesn’t lie, the moon is full of truth, absolute perfection. To look at the moon is to look into your soul.
Forgiveness, yes there is still hope. The moon and the stars exist eternally. They are patient. I can breath a sigh of relief because I am sure I will cry again. But I must change, stop resisting, humble myself, and be grateful. The moon will guide me, I trust the moon.
Now I shall sleep, knowing the moon will shine through the night. When I wake, I shall read these words, this is my prayer. I will put one foot forward, and then the next. I will begin my real journey, I will listen to my heart. I will give more than I take, I will be faithful. I will cry a river of tears and I will love.