The burden of beauty that keeps
tormenting my skin,
the love of thee that comes
only with label,
"beauty", if not I'm doomed.
I can't compete with the normal female,
that one! yes, the one you yearn to
have intimacy with!
It is not me the beautiful me that was; taking
sedative to ease the pain, the misery of the
pills taking by day. I keep forgeting I'm not with thee.
I keep forgeting I'm a suffering slave.
And I remind myself you are not with me.
the pain is inevitable to stop.
Why am I not with you? because your
not with the less fortunate.
"You believe you can do better".
I don't want it! No I don't;
Your pity is more than a sword through my throat.
Yes! I need the drug and the love too,
both to keep living this misery;
I can't let it go. If I could just disappear,
I would be there in the other side of my
reality pushing my luck once more.