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senryu 10

Cyndi MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled senryu 10 which was written by poet Cyndi MacMillan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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senryu 10

the old man shivers
under his recycled shroud
yesterday’s news

By Cyndi MacMillan--Deb let me know if this is disqualified and if so why... I'd really like to give this a shot... just a HM is my goal.... senryu lite? LOL. xox

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  1. Date: 11/10/2012 6:03:00 PM your win..pd

  1. Date: 11/8/2012 11:40:00 PM
    I remember really liking this one. Congrats on the win!

  1. Date: 11/8/2012 10:04:00 PM
    Congratulations on your win, Cyndi!! Ruben.

  1. Date: 11/8/2012 3:12:00 PM
    You know Dee ;) ;) wouldn't a shroud mean he was dead? [peer]8-)...just chatting with my sis much more to play with in a totally acceptable tongue in cheek way in a senryu! [dead guys don't shiver BUT maybe it was his last shiver [Bet dodges the ripe tomato!] Congrad's on Your Win! Light & Love

  1. Date: 11/8/2012 11:39:00 AM
    Congrats to you on your success in the contest. BG

  1. Date: 11/8/2012 8:44:00 AM
    Congratulations on your fine win xx

  1. Date: 11/8/2012 8:27:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win Cyndi. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 10/24/2012 4:46:00 PM
    Because its a senryu it can give a subjective view, I am assuming you are saying his coat was stuffed with newspaper for insulation? and that both the man and the news ON the paper had to do with life past...lingering in remnants in the's fine why would it be lite? for me the only things I'd change was the word [senior] to [an old man] or [and old woman] more immediate more personal? Light & Love

    MacMillan Avatar Cyndi MacMillan
    Date: 10/24/2012 4:51:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Lite, cause its been said a thousand times, I think.. I didn't stretch myself here, didn't lose myself in the moment (?) I'd barely give myself a 10 for this. Common... but thanks for seeing.. xox
    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 10/24/2012 4:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    it is less than 17 syllables too so good on always ;)
  1. Date: 10/24/2012 4:29:00 PM
    Just HM as goal. you are funny, cyndi. I rather like this one!