senryu 10 by CYNDI MACMILLAN

the old man shivers under his recycled shroud yesterday’s news By Cyndi MacMillan--Deb let me know if this is disqualified and if so why... I'd really like to give this a shot... just a HM is my goal.... senryu lite? LOL. xox

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 11/10/2012 6:03:00 PM

Cyndi...love your win..pd

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 11/8/2012 11:40:00 PM

I remember really liking this one. Congrats on the win!

Ruben O.

Date: 11/8/2012 10:04:00 PM

Congratulations on your win, Cyndi!! Ruben.

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 11/8/2012 3:12:00 PM

You know Dee ;) ;) wouldn't a shroud mean he was dead? [peer]8-)...just chatting with my sis ..so much more to play with in a totally acceptable tongue in cheek way in a senryu! [dead guys don't shiver BUT maybe it was his last shiver [Bet dodges the ripe tomato!] Congrad's on Your Win! Light & Love

Barbara Gorelick

Date: 11/8/2012 11:39:00 AM

Congrats to you on your success in the contest. BG

Mandy Tams The Golden Girl

Date: 11/8/2012 8:44:00 AM

Congratulations on your fine win xx

Carol Sunshine Brown

Date: 11/8/2012 8:27:00 AM

Congratulations on your win Cyndi. Love, Carol

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 10/24/2012 4:46:00 PM

Because its a senryu it can give a subjective view, I am assuming you are saying his coat was stuffed with newspaper for insulation? and that both the man and the news ON the paper had to do with life past...lingering in remnants in the present..it's fine why would it be lite? for me the only things I'd change was the word [senior] to [an old man] or [and old woman] more immediate more personal? Light & Love

CYNDI MACMILLAN Date: 10/24/2012 4:51:00 PM

Lite, cause its been said a thousand times, I think.. I didn't stretch myself here, didn't lose myself in the moment (?) I'd barely give myself a 10 for this. Common... but thanks for seeing.. xox

Debbie Guzzi Date: 10/24/2012 4:47:00 PM

it is less than 17 syllables too so good on you..as always ;)

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 10/24/2012 4:29:00 PM

Just HM as goal. you are funny, cyndi. I rather like this one!

Gail Angel Doyle

Date: 10/24/2012 3:55:00 PM

Love this senryu Cyndi. Such depth of meaning. Hugs and luv, Gail

About This Poem

senryu 10

Post Comments