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Drive -part 2-

Laura Breidenthal Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Drive -part 2- which was written by poet Laura Breidenthal. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Drive -part 2-

Wanted to try Tanka--not sure if they ever come in pairs...but...
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It has been hours
There is no more moisture left
No not even sweat
They spill her out of the sack
No tears to give them pleasure

No pleasure at all
Brown eyes glisten into theirs
The laughter has ceased
They cannot fathom she’s alive
The master looks at each face

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  1. Date: 10/18/2012 2:59:00 PM
    I am not sure if I am interpreting this correctly. But I feel it is a very sad one. Am I right? I enjoyed reading this one.

    Breidenthal Avatar Laura Breidenthal
    Date: 10/18/2012 4:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Drive Part one explains a little better. It is indeed a sad one- glad you enjoyed it. :)
  1. Date: 10/16/2012 2:35:00 PM
    Laura, i like the way you paired up your poem. in any role, sadness always seizes the way we want to feel, you can breath and still feel dead. you did a good job, with the conclusion on your title... always... driving myself crazy..xox..pd

    Breidenthal Avatar Laura Breidenthal
    Date: 10/18/2012 4:56:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks a mill :D
  1. Date: 10/15/2012 7:43:00 PM
    Powerful Piece here...very nicely done indeed. Just to let you know that you can write as many stanzas as you wish in Tanka. I have found a website called 'tankaonline.com'...which really helped me to understand the form better. There are some really useful tips in there...you can check out the site if you like!!

    Breidenthal Avatar Laura Breidenthal
    Date: 10/18/2012 4:57:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Thanks Jonas!!! And you're very welcome. I enjoy your work.
    Rozario Avatar Jonas L. Rozario
    Date: 10/15/2012 7:51:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    By the way Thanks so much for stopping by my page...I will read your work soon too. Later!!!