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About This Poem

Contemporary Haiku

"Contemporary Haiku" by Catie Lindsey:

children play and scream
in a world at war ~
school bell rings


in a war-torn town
where a child screams for his mom. . . 
a school bell rings

(I've removed this revision for Catie from the contest and am using the tanka above it on my poetry page!)

Please Login to post a comment
 
  1. Duncan Avatar
    Debbie Duncan
    Date: 12/27/2012 9:42:00 PM
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    Love these short poems,, you know Haiku, Tanka, ,,,,,, Thank you for reading my Tudor Court, I love history from little girl. Jonathon Rhys Meyers was the good looking guy/ King Henry on " The Tudors. He also played Elvis,,, look it up on utube ;}
  1. Goller Avatar
    Erich Goller
    Date: 10/30/2012 12:34:00 PM
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    all wars are hell, a heartfelt expressed Haiku, Thanks for sharing it,God bless yoy, Hugs!Erich
  1. Babcock Avatar
    Phyllis Babcock
    Date: 10/19/2012 9:56:00 AM
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    See you took one of Catie's poems for the contest and did the revision. Great write. love phyl
  1. horsman Avatar
    harry horsman
    Date: 10/19/2012 1:56:00 AM
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    Oh yes this is good, Andrea, a cutting poem like this, needs to be read....
  1. A Avatar
    Poet Destroyer A
    Date: 10/18/2012 3:13:00 PM
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    Hi, Andrea, are both the haiku's from Catie,,, I'm confused... anyways...I like the second haiku... and the tanka, better... xox~pd
  1. Galinta Avatar
    Leonora Galinta
    Date: 10/17/2012 4:18:00 PM
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    Excellent one my dear! You're doing it well my dear great poet! Good luck always and I wish you all the best! :) hugsLG
  1. Crous Avatar
    Suzette Crous
    Date: 10/16/2012 3:12:00 AM
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    Or (if I may?): war-torn town,//child cries for mother -//strident bell//. (Bells ring loudest when the weather is cold - hence winter).... etc. Where, What, When. I had posted a note under my Table Mountain haiku (first one), Andrea. You perhaps missed it, hence your comment? Love, Su

  1. Grisetti Avatar
    Joann Grisetti
    Date: 10/15/2012 7:57:00 PM
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    I think you have done a good job at capturing the mood and tone of the original.
  1. Falotico Avatar
    Michael J. Falotico
    Date: 10/15/2012 6:27:00 PM
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    Well I like it a lot. Well done my dear Andrea. :•) hugs Michael
  1. Ertsland Avatar
    Arild Andresen Ertsland
    Date: 10/15/2012 10:04:00 AM
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    I don`t have a clue about haiku`s,Andrea:) But I truly like the words here! Have a splendid new week ahead:) Hugs,Arild
  1. Shah Avatar
    Yesha Shah
    Date: 10/15/2012 8:22:00 AM
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    Nicely done really Andrea. touching re-write work. good luck.
  1. Susan Avatar
    Black Eyed Susan
    Date: 10/15/2012 8:02:00 AM
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    nicely done. good luck :)
  1. Ellison Avatar
    Jack Ellison
    Date: 10/15/2012 6:47:00 AM
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    A great variation on Catie's... kudos! Hugs, Jack
  1. onclaud Avatar
    nette onclaud
    Date: 10/15/2012 2:10:00 AM
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    superb aha moment, andie... war-torn to bell ringing... who said you can't nail a ku?.. best wishes and huggs!.:)
  1. Sathasivam Avatar
    Ravi Sathasivam
    Date: 10/15/2012 12:35:00 AM
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    Excellent haiku. Enjoyed. Tfs
  1. Pettit Avatar
    Robert Pettit
    Date: 10/14/2012 11:53:00 PM
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    Nice revised version of Catie's work. Catie's haiku is still quite admirable. You have only rendered a good variation of it.
  1. poet Avatar
    kash poet
    Date: 10/14/2012 11:15:00 PM
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    Very nice aproach by you.The deadline for catie's contest is Nov 05 and today is Oct 14:)

    poet Avatar kash poet Date: 10/14/2012 11:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    approach....And best wishes.
  1. May Avatar
    Joseph May
    Date: 10/14/2012 8:10:00 PM
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    nice haiku Andrea...best wishes...love...Joseph
  1. Rose Avatar
    Mystic Rose
    Date: 10/14/2012 6:22:00 PM
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    Enjoyed your haiku Andrea, big hugs vie
  1. Sivey Avatar
    Russell Sivey
    Date: 10/14/2012 5:23:00 PM
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    This is a very nice rendition of Catie's Senryu Andrea! I really enjoyed this remake a lot, a stupendous write! Wonderful piece, Great Work!!
  1. O'Leary Avatar
    Terry O'Leary
    Date: 10/14/2012 3:48:00 PM
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    War is wrong... both versions are perfect! Terry
  1. Andresen Avatar
    Anne Lise Andresen
    Date: 10/14/2012 3:40:00 PM
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    MOOO ..... good moooaiku - "ku" is cow .... :) :) :) Luck in contest Andrea! Have a nice Sunday evening. - oxox love Anne-Lise :)


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