Now I ain’t too awfully smart,
‘bout much if I recall,
I didn’ agree when my boy said,
“this problem can’t be solved at all.”
He said learned men, an’ great scholars,
agree ‘bout this equation.
To cut somethin’ off an’ make it longer,
was impossible on every occasion.
I ain’t good at ‘rithmetic an’ such,
still I had to give it a try.
I bought a knife, scissors, an’ spade,
‘twas all my money could buy.
I set about in earnest,
to solve this bit of confusion.
I cut, whittled, an’ clipped a lot,
‘til I came to this conclusion.
A problem can be solved,
long as you know it can’t be done.
‘Cause findin’ the answer,
makes the task seem like fun.
I took my problem outside,
it got too big for the house.
Truth is, my results got me in trouble
with my loving ‘spouse.
Out in my ‘tater field,
I made that chore real sport.
I’d solve the problem out there,
then give the scholars my report.
After two days of diggin’ an’ piling up dirt,
the answer I finally foun’
The impossible feat I truly solved,
right there on my own groun’.
I started with a hole one foot long...
that went without a hitch.
After shovelin’ for a day, an’ five hunnert feet,
I had one heck of a ditch.
Now don’ tell me the answer ain’ there,
I left it for all to see.
I cut the end of a ditch an’ made it longer,
the problem was solved by me.
My wife... understandin’,
said “to embarrass scholars wouldn’ be funny.
‘Sides, how would we handle sudden fame,
an’ all that Nobel Prize money?”
She was right I could see,
still the proof I want to keep.
But now I had 'nother problem...
what to do with that dirt in a heap.
Well I thought about it quite a bit,
that pile was a lot to hide,
My boy, who got a good education,
said, “Pa, you gotta’ come outside.”
He said, “The answer’s quite simple,
an’ the dimensions I know you recall.
Just dig another ditch, twice as long and deep,
then just bury it all.”