One of my boyhood dreams was to become a successful functionary,
With an office with a view, a fine oak desk and a pretty secretary!
To wear a suit and tie (to me) would be the pinnacle of success.
I was sick of wearin' brogans and overalls - I'd settle for nothin' less!
I suppose to a certain degree my youthful dreams came true.
For thirty years I wore a tie with the Air Force suit of blue.
Anon, the wearin' of a suit and tie had lost much of its appeal.
My discomfiture at wearin' a stranglin' tie became hard to conceal!
My spouse attributes my disdain for suits and ties as a lack of cultivation.
To not wear a suit and tie to church she considers an abomination!
I'll deign to wear such garb for a weddin' or funeral to be a tad more couth,
But I suffer thro' each excruciatin' minute of the ordeal to tell the truth!
Here in the wild west, a well-dressed dude wears scruffy boots and jeans.
Shucks, the feller could be a prosperous rancher and a man of means!
I'm in heavenly bliss wearin' my jeans sans a constrictin' suit and tie.
I feel as free as a golden eagle soarin' in the pristine Colorado sky!
I reckon that when I cease to function and bid my friends adieu,
That they'll insist on displayin' my mortal shell for everyone to view.
But if they dress me out in a daggone suit and especially a throttlin' tie,
There ain't no delicate way to express it - I'll just up and die!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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