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The Instrument's Hiss

Black Eyed Susan Avatar Black Eyed Susan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled The Instrument's Hiss which was written by poet Black Eyed Susan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Instrument's Hiss

She wanted a baby more than life
So she went and booyah’d 50 guys
Her smile dazzled everyone she met
When she finally learned she was pregnant 
Her breasts grew larger, her belly too
She decorated the nursery with pink and blue
But at the doctors, something was amiss
The only sound was the instrument’s hiss
There wasn’t a heartbeat; her eyes grew wide 
“Doctor is my baby, dead inside?”
“Let’s do a sonogram, see what it shows”
But his eyes were sad, his movements slow
As the sonogram screen lit up the womb
It wasn’t as they’d thought, a baby’s tomb
Because in fact, there was no baby there
Just an aching hole, and a woman’s despair



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  1. Date: 12/25/2012 7:30:00 PM

    Merry Christmas, Susan. WHAT's UP?

  1. Date: 11/10/2012 2:16:00 PM

    love this clever write, Susan - so glad to see it was a winner. Thanks very much - loved your contest : )

  1. Date: 11/1/2012 7:06:00 AM

    Sad and very emotive piece penned Susan. Belated congrats on your win!

  1. Date: 10/27/2012 2:24:00 PM

    Very nicely penned and congrats on your win. love phyl

  1. Date: 10/25/2012 10:43:00 AM

    glad i found this poem, Susan, it is so profound, so heartfelt, yet one as to reasd it again and again.... wow the captcha is cubs

    horsman Avatar harry horsman Date: 10/25/2012 10:43:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    that is read
  1. Date: 10/21/2012 5:21:00 AM

    what an array of feelings this poem conveys or produces in the reader. Grabbed me and wouldn't let go . very well done.! and thanks for the comments...

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 4:58:00 PM

    I've heard of the phenomenon of false pregnancies. Great story for the contests and congratulations on your win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 4:31:00 PM

    very nice piece!!!! Congrats on a well deserved win!!

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 3:29:00 PM

    Susan, congrats in Cyndi's contest--a talented write with a clever twist.

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 2:52:00 PM

    susan, you did really well with one of your first sonnets. Congrats. I have not seen the specific winners list yet. I will check it out if I have time. Luv, andrea

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 11:11:00 AM

    Enjoyed reading this creative work..Congrats on your win..Sara..It was sad but not as sad if it had been an actual baby..Sara

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 8:22:00 AM

    CONGRATS SUSAN ON A MARVELOUS WRITE AND WIN LUV .. AWESOME POEM ..

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 7:54:00 AM

    Congratulations on your win.

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 6:27:00 AM

    Congratulations on your 4th place win in Cyndi's contest Susan. Love, Carol XXXX

  1. Date: 10/17/2012 10:37:00 PM

    congrats on a great win Susan

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 8:40:00 PM

    Hola, Susan, wow... you could have entered this in scribes contest... I love what you did here, last year, they could not find my babygrandaughter heart beat. The doctors gave us a scare for over a week. after the second sonogram, we finally heard a heart beat. thanks God, .. your poem has a very heart felt ending. maybe it is for the better for there not to be a baby in the tomb, than one dead inside of her. still a sad tale. God luck, xox~pd

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 9:02:00 AM

    oh Susan this is just brilliant and riveting all at the same time, the amount of women who must be able to relate to this, the very best of luck...all is improving, my wife comes home a week today so I will dissapear for a while to give her all of my attention she will need 24 hour care, so all is good, hope you are well....David

  1. Date: 10/12/2012 7:42:00 PM

    well penned Susan....best wishes...

  1. Date: 10/12/2012 9:11:00 AM

    SUPER ENTRY SUSAN .. GREAT WORK WITH SONNET FORM LUV .. WINNING WISHES .. AM SURE CYNDI WILL LUV IT .. THANKXX SO MUCH FOR MY WINNING TANKS .. WITH OUR NEW GRANDSON IN OUR HOME FOR HOLIDAYS IT WAS SO EASY TO WRITE ABOUT OUR BUNDLE OF JOY ..

  1. Date: 10/12/2012 8:37:00 AM

    Susan - Think I read this at PFT, but the second time is the charm. Love it. Kathy

  1. Date: 10/9/2012 11:20:00 PM

    Wow! That is quite the write ya got there... Good luck in the contest. Jeepers! I had to read it again before I posted this.

  1. Date: 10/8/2012 1:57:00 PM

    susan, I really like this by the way. And I think Cyndi ought to love it because I think she admires the modern way that you write. You really did well following her rules for a contemporary sonnet contest. Luv, andrea

  1. Date: 10/8/2012 1:54:00 PM

    Oh, good it is here. I was looking for this because you asked me something about it at hotmail. Soupmail.

  1. Date: 10/7/2012 3:11:00 PM

    This is a truly sad write Susan! I really enjoyed the cleverly written poem that you have written! What a depressing event that would be to find the baby is no longer alive...I can't imagine the sadness that would ensue from that! Fabulous piece, Great Work!!

  1. Date: 10/7/2012 2:58:00 PM

    A great example of a modern sonnet thang. Sure Cyndi will love this poem.

  1. Date: 10/7/2012 2:40:00 PM

    Its really difficult to comment this very sad sonnet,dear Susan..am struggling to find the right words..All the best wishes in the contest.Hugs and Love,Arild

  1. Date: 10/7/2012 2:03:00 PM

    A very touching poem B.E.S. - Tears on my cheeks ..... :( Hope the new week will be a happy week for you. - :) Wish you luck in the contest - :) oxox love Anne-Lise :)

  1. Date: 10/7/2012 1:50:00 PM

    sad, but eloquent cdhoice of words