Thanks for being patient with me
Though I feel that I am ignored
As being too antiquated and irrelevant to your life
Why would I interrogate Pinocchio?
It is hopeless to find anything in me to salvage
My last stroke of genius
Was getting my bid to father you accepted.
I am just so frustrated
How could everything I said or did just went over your head
If you look like me and walk and talk like me
Why can't you understand like me?
O forgive me, I have been too silent these years
To adopt the discourse of noise effectively now
Would it matter if I say I ws protecting you from bias and from tears
When a father has nothing left, he still feels he must protect his love ones
He still worry that the minotaur may harm one more child.
I know the pain of that lost
It haunts me deeply since your brother died; it changed me
I use to be just vulnerable and afraid of risk, now I am impotent.
My only weapon left is prayer, but it makes me uncomfortable
To think of an argument with God as a weapon.
This letter you ask, what is its purpose
Why can't two grown men meet and talk?
Meet? You have no time for me, I do not wear mascara
I cannot provoke your hormones to rebel against your judgment
I suddenly realize every conversation needs a drop of love to begin it.
I am neither judging your feelings nor confessing mine
You see, dear son, feelings for you is discontent of emotion
Love for me is a self so given it is nothing but sacrifice
This time the son has carved the father
Out of his image
And whittled him until the wood cries for joy.
Any which way I look at it
A knife in the hand is indicative of sacrifice
And redemption is a long way to the death of God.