I punch in at 5 am, every non holiday
I go through my route, and walk all the way.
I recieve the complaints for lost or late letters
I try to convince myself it will get better
Then I park my truck at the end of willow bee lane.
That's when the fear hits and I start to go insane,
I stop by the Wilson's, the Reed's and the Jone's house too
Then I approach the place that makes me feel blue
I look around me with the fear of a smuggler
I would much rather be attacked by a mugger
I open the gate, I am half way to the door
Then I hear the same sound I have heard before
With a growl, a snarl, and the bareing of teeth,
It's that stupid sparky coming just to bite me.
I run and I run but I just can't make a break
I tripped over the stanley's "darling sons' skate
with the lift of his leg, and a smirk on his doggy face
he lets me know, again that this is his space.
he kicks up the dry dirt all over my head,
I knew, I shouldn't have gotten out of bed.
The guys make jokes about my bright yellow stain,
this is unreasonable conditions, it's quite insane.
I asked them to switch routes with me, they refused
I am so tired of feeling so abused and used
but, in the middle of the night, I awoke with a plan
It can not fail me, no more troubles for this man.
I would get Sparky to forever leave me alone
But how? I could try and poison a dog bone
No that won't work, they surely can tell
and if I kill a dog I will go straight to hell
but how do I take down my nemesis for good
what to do, should i do, what I should?
"you can't blame the dog if owners are in charge!"
That's it.." to get even with the Pvt. you go after the sarge"
So there I sit outside their house at a quarter 'til three
I seen the owner come out, a Mister Rick Stanley
I remembered his face, I remembered it well,
I complained on his dog and he said " go to hell"
He let Sparky bite me, Sparky ruined my life!!
I spent so much time plotting revenge, I lost my wife!
So rick was headed down the stairs, straight for his car,
but, I just chuckled, I knew he wouldn't get too far.
why? well I had poured 3,120 bb's on the walkway
in the exact spot where Sparky pee'd on me yesterday
There lay rick on the ground, in a crying fit,
I laughed and laughed so loud I didn't give sh*t,
when he recognized me, his face to the sky,
I smiled real wide and unzipped my fly.........
P.S just a reminder to be nice to your mail man they are all crazy lol