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vengence of the Postman lol

kathryn ramirez Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled vengence of the Postman lol which was written by poet kathryn ramirez. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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vengence of the Postman lol


I punch in at 5 am, every non holiday
I go through my route, and walk all the way.
I recieve the complaints for lost or late letters
I try to convince myself it will get better

Then I park my truck at the end of willow bee lane.
That's when the fear hits and I start to go insane,
I stop by the Wilson's, the Reed's and the Jone's house too
Then I approach the place that makes me feel blue

I look around me with the fear of a smuggler
I would much rather be attacked by a mugger
I open the gate, I am half way to the door
Then I hear the same sound I have heard before

With a growl, a snarl, and the bareing of teeth,
It's that stupid sparky coming just to bite me.
I run and I run but I just can't make a break
I tripped over the stanley's "darling sons' skate

with the lift of his leg, and a smirk on his doggy face
he lets me know, again that this is his space.
he kicks up the dry dirt all over my head,
I knew, I shouldn't have gotten out of bed.

The guys make jokes about my bright yellow stain,
this is unreasonable conditions, it's quite insane.
I asked them to switch routes with me, they refused
I am so tired of feeling so  abused and used

but, in the middle of the night, I awoke with a plan
It can not fail me, no more troubles for this man.
I would get Sparky to forever leave me alone
But how? I could try and poison a dog bone

No that won't work, they surely can tell
and if I kill a dog I will go straight to hell
but how do I take down my nemesis for good
what to do, should i do, what I should?

"you can't blame the dog if owners are in charge!"
That's it.." to get even with the Pvt. you go after the sarge"
So there I sit outside their house at a quarter 'til three
I seen the owner come out, a Mister Rick Stanley

I remembered his face, I remembered it well,
I complained on his dog and he said " go to hell"
He let Sparky bite me, Sparky ruined my life!!
I spent so much time plotting revenge, I lost my wife!

So rick was headed down the stairs, straight for his car,
but, I just chuckled, I knew he wouldn't get too far. 
why? well I had poured 3,120 bb's on the walkway
in the exact spot where Sparky pee'd on me yesterday

There lay rick on the ground, in a crying fit,
I laughed and laughed so loud I didn't give  sh*t,
when he recognized me, his face to the sky,
I smiled real wide and unzipped my fly.........

 katei
P.S just a reminder to be nice to your mail man they are all crazy lol

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  1. Date: 3/8/2014 10:10:00 PM

    This is hilarious, I love it!

    ramirez Avatar kathryn ramirez Date: 3/8/2014 10:16:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you... :)
  1. Date: 11/3/2013 8:50:00 PM

    This was pretty funny! After the Batman one, I though this might be a mailman poem that just might include a line on Kevin Costner! LOL! Very entertaining! MC

    ramirez Avatar kathryn ramirez Date: 11/4/2013 11:13:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    lol. if I had though of Kevin Costner I would have made it work! lol... thanks for the visit, Glad you enjoyed it!, Katei