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Under the knife

Joseph May Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Under the knife which was written by poet Joseph May. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Under the knife

 When her vision began to blur
She thought a trip to the Optometrist was the cure
But upon her visit she got bad news
It was a tumor that was blurring her views

She would need a neurosurgeon
To correct this situation
Her surgery was scheduled in two weeks
She hoped the outcome wouldn't be bleak

Family and friends gathered by her bedside
Prayers and tears were supplied
Everyone seemed calm, though they were in shock
Suddenly.... she was awoken by her alarm clock!......

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  1. Date: 10/28/2012 2:21:00 PM

    Very heart felt, made me feel something! Great write

  1. Date: 10/28/2012 2:08:00 PM

    This poem could be really powerful, but the last line causes one to stumble. I'm all for the surprise twists, but this one was jarring. Perhaps a smoother transition? She's being put under anesthesia and as they have her count backwards she wakes up to her clock then? You might even me able to get away with just changing the last couplet and go with a softer rhyme. I think this poem needs a 'double look' instead of 'pow, right in the kisser' approach. It's got a lot of potential.

    May Avatar Joseph May Date: 10/28/2012 2:12:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    well I didn't you were an expert but thanks
  1. Date: 9/23/2012 5:14:00 PM

    I was sure I you were sharing your reality, then the end came. Real or unreal, this is a sad experience. Hope it never happens. Nice poem, Joseph.

    May Avatar Joseph May Date: 9/23/2012 7:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    ...very nice to hear from you Sherese....thanks for stopping by...love...