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About This Poem

Haiku Twenty-something


mausoleum sits

damp and musty-

spider web dangles


front doors creek

foot steps echo-

teenagers giggle



 9-14-12
 By Gwendolen Rix

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  1. Maverick Avatar
    Joe Maverick
    Date: 5/13/2013 2:35:00 PM
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    Hey Gwendolen..this is one creaky/ creepy write I 'must say' it reminds of some places visited.. Needles to say one hotel like that is enough for a lifetimes experience of stays.. hope you are well Joe..)
  1. May Avatar
    Joseph May
    Date: 10/4/2012 8:44:00 PM
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    nice haiku Gwen....left me in suspense...what happens next....hugs...
  1. collins Avatar
    kathryn collins
    Date: 10/1/2012 7:52:00 AM
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    Dear Gwendolen, Everything comes around. If I were the corpse I'd love the giggles. love, Kathy
  1. Dietrich Avatar
    Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 9/27/2012 7:04:00 PM
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    this is awesome. Makes me wonder what else recent of yours I have missed. Soupmail.
  1. Sefunmi Avatar
    Modupe Sefunmi
    Date: 9/27/2012 7:18:00 AM
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    Lovely write! Thanks for your comments on my Clerihew( A Genius in my Home).
  1. johnson Avatar
    robert johnson
    Date: 9/25/2012 6:46:00 AM
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    Yes, the wonder years, reliving days of beers and fears. Our nieve ways of knowing nothing. When we were young and twenty- something. Loved taking the journey down memory lane with you Gwen. Have a lovely today.
  1. Goudreau Avatar
    Suzanne C. Goudreau
    Date: 9/23/2012 8:20:00 PM
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    I love your descritions and the images you've created. I can so much visualize it all before me as I read you. Very poignant and absolutely cleverly crafted.
  1. Bagnall Avatar
    Nick Bagnall
    Date: 9/19/2012 5:56:00 AM
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    I know you've strayed from the traditional haiku, but I fell you've captured the essence of the form very well, this is a very enjoyable piece on many levels.
  1. Guzzi Avatar
    Debbie Guzzi
    Date: 9/16/2012 7:19:00 PM
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    Hopefully this is the right one [duck] it seems more halloweenie? [a mausoleum/ sits damp and musty--webs dangle] try for short LONG short..this is a haiku :) [do not be afraid of the little words the 'articles' a, the, an etc.] the front door creeks/as foot steps echo--teens giggle] see how th [as] gramatically joined line 1 and 2 and creeks acts as the verb..so in its simplist form a haiku has a subject line 1, and action line 2 & additional scensory input line 3! Gwen did it! Light & Love
  1. Bordner Avatar
    Justin Bordner
    Date: 9/15/2012 11:35:00 PM
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    A truly meaningful Haiku Gwendolen, no easy accomplishment - I am suprised at how many angles of interpretation I can stride into from this marvel of brevity - reincarnation, chakras, robust imagery, religious rites, age manifesting suddenly, and oh, what are those kids up to? J.A.B. %
  1. poet Avatar
    kash poet
    Date: 9/15/2012 5:10:00 PM
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    Very good haiku Gwen!Specially 2nd one.
  1. horne Avatar
    jack horne
    Date: 9/15/2012 2:41:00 PM
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    I love this witty haiku, Gwendolen - and just love the title too, lol
  1. khan Avatar
    yasmin khan
    Date: 9/15/2012 2:45:00 AM
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    As I read this haiku , I can picture you both...that is what you have done..written the picture perfect haiku..I can see it all..i have a read such a haiku after such a long time Gwendy...its a haiku that has to be put up as a perfect example for haiku...love you lille sas...how is your naughtee self this morning....zzzzzzzzzzz...no sno ring ring ring...
  1. Nair Avatar
    S.Jagathsimhan Nair
    Date: 9/14/2012 5:27:00 PM
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    For teens, even mausoleums are laughing matter ....nostalgia about days when life brims with love and laughter!! jag
  1. Aechtner Avatar
    Chris D. Aechtner
    Date: 9/14/2012 10:59:00 AM
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    Coolio, creepy-crawly haiku here, Gwendolen. Mausoleums and cemetaries are absolutely grand. May the Light of Lucifer shine upon you always. Ahwomen and Ahmen.
  1. Andresen Avatar
    Anne Lise Andresen
    Date: 9/14/2012 10:29:00 AM
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    I giggled a bit I also ...... good Gwen. - I wish you a good weekend. - Oxox love Anne-Lise :)
  1. Rose Avatar
    Mystic Rose
    Date: 9/14/2012 9:55:00 AM
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    Such lovely memories, enjoyed your haiku Gwen, love and light vie
  1. horsman Avatar
    harry horsman
    Date: 9/14/2012 9:47:00 AM
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    not unlike my childhood, love these, Gwen, wonderful Haiku's
  1. Sivey Avatar
    Russell Sivey
    Date: 9/14/2012 8:59:00 AM
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    And the pumpkin man runs at the teenagers and scares them to death! This is quite the fun write my friend! I really enjoyed your creativity with this incredible poem full of delight and intrigue...awesome piece Gwendolen! Great Work!!
  1. R. Avatar
    Gwendolen R.
    Date: 9/14/2012 7:47:00 AM
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    My sister and I lived near a mausoleum and it was the centerpiece of most teenage dares! :)


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