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Jimmy

Bradley Cox Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Jimmy which was written by poet Bradley Cox. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Jimmy

It was a full moon
jimmy was ready to go trick or treating
first time by myself
jimmy was anxious and scared
Jimmy mind was playing tricks on him
all week long jimmy watched scary movies
jimmy first house was ms jones better
know as cat lady her house was very old
people say a house of horrors
jimmy thought he saw a bat and a rat
jimmy walked slowly and knocked on the door
the porch was creepy and smelled funny
jimmy nerous were on edge
the door oped slowly a dim light and a 
stock pot boiling was what he saw
jimmy saw trick or treat ms jones laughed real hard
ms jones gave jimmy a big red apple
jimmy said thank you and ms jones said 
dont be a stranger and scream if you need anything

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  1. Date: 9/3/2012 10:26:00 AM

    I think the storyline and the message here, is awesome Bradley. keep writing. enjoyed.

    Cox Avatar Bradley Cox Date: 9/4/2012 5:07:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thank you harry
  1. Date: 9/2/2012 10:20:00 AM

    Bradley, you are displaying improvement in your writing. I see you are no longer using apostrophes with pluralized nouns. You still need improvement in other areas, but you will get there.

    Cox Avatar Bradley Cox Date: 9/2/2012 1:42:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank You robert i will keep trying hard
  1. Date: 9/2/2012 5:00:00 AM

    You might note that the repetition of the name Jimmy, most writers only use a name once or twice in a whole compositon, it would , I believe, it make your poem flow nicely if you take a look, you can see "he "can be replace or even changed in the sentence to "him" at times.. Just a thought.

    Cox Avatar Bradley Cox Date: 9/2/2012 5:03:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thank you for reading and sharing with me it helps me in love of poetry
  1. Date: 9/2/2012 4:58:00 AM

    hahaha. nice write. I enjoyed it! :) ~Cindy~

    Cox Avatar Bradley Cox Date: 9/2/2012 5:04:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thank you for reading and sharing with me i was just getting ready for all the holidays they come so fast now i am old lol