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Below is the poem entitled HONEYMOON CAPERS which was written by poet Mandy Tams The Golden Girl. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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~Honeymoon Capers~ The big day arrived and we couldn’t wait We were old fashioned and there was no horse after the gate The wedding went off with nary a hitch A few gate crashers but we didn’t b i t c h . * The honeymoon night, boy what a thrill The emotions it caused are with us both still While showering in a hotel bathroom suite My new husband dare ask if he could now peek. Into the shower he joined me all of a quiver The sparks were shooting hither and thither I was covered in shampoo from washing my hair I tried to squeeze past him the water to share. No thought was there yet of making love in the shower We were getting to know more of each other hour by hour My new husband’s passion was obviously aroused As I stuck me head under the shower to be doused. It was then that I did slip and fall backwards with a yell Taking the shower the curtains and my husbands passion as well All I remember as my head hit the loo Was an agonised yell from my husband brand new. As my legs lifted high not for love it would seem But I kicked him in the place where he kept his lovers dreams. I woke up on the floor my head splitting in two My husband at the side of me groaning by the loo Water was pouring from the shower wall Neither could move nor dare make a call He said he knew that in marriage there could be some hard knocks But it was taking the cake to get kicked in the rocks. The toilet was cracked just like my head The bathroom was flooded we had to stay in bed Our honeymoon night our first night together Is one we will remember for ever and ever.
* Censor won't let me use it so I split it ©~GG~ 30/08/2012

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  1. Date: 10/4/2012 1:17:00 AM

    congrats Mandy, the best poem i've read in ages

  1. Date: 10/3/2012 12:29:00 PM

    Oh Mandy....this is hilarious! And to read that it's a true story makes it even more funny. I now see why you are called the Golden Girl....this is awesome and priceless! Big congrats! Hugs

  1. Date: 10/2/2012 11:47:00 PM

    OMG what a fantastic story, congrats on your win Mandy

  1. Date: 10/2/2012 9:35:00 PM

    Mandy, congrats on your BIG win, I so loved reading your poem, you had me laughing right away, then Ohhh, what a wedding night you had, I think I could listen to your stories all day, Love Debra

  1. Date: 10/2/2012 2:16:00 PM

    MANDY, Congratulations with your fantastic entry for Joann's "My Cousin's Wedding" cheers~ xox~ PD

  1. Date: 10/2/2012 12:50:00 PM

    What a fun time was had by all. congratulations on your funny win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 10/1/2012 11:18:00 PM

    Ha ha ha what a fantastic poem. Hope its all in your imagination and not true. loved it. Seren

    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 10/2/2012 1:22:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ha a lot of my stuff is imagination, this is painfully true lol xx Thanks
  1. Date: 10/1/2012 10:40:00 PM

    amazing!!!! congratulations :) well done!!!

  1. Date: 10/1/2012 2:45:00 PM

    this surely WAS the number one winner. BIG congrats, my friend.

  1. Date: 10/1/2012 10:27:00 AM

    INDEED A GREAT WRITE! ILOVE IT!MY 2 HUGE AND WARMTH HUGS FOR YOU TODAY MY DEAR MANDY: 1) CONGRATULATING YOU ON YOUR GRAND WINS, AND 2) FOR YOUR BIG BIRTHDAY! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR FRIEND!!!! Oct. 1 am I right? Please confirm. muahh!!!(SWEET KISSES) Good luck, good health and God bless you always!!!!love, prayer and hugs:) Leonora

  1. Date: 10/1/2012 7:07:00 AM

    What a super win for you. Congratulations Mandy GG. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 4:30:00 PM

    Funny.....Congratulations! Love the rhyme!

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 4:24:00 PM

    Ha!! Great poem!! Congrats on our win!!

    Self Avatar Dustin Self Date: 9/30/2012 4:34:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I mean your win friend!!
  1. Date: 9/30/2012 4:11:00 PM

    Oh Brother..that takes the cake! lol. Congrats to you on your big win. BG

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 11:51:00 AM

    very funny! contratulations Mandy. warm thought, Ralph

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 11:31:00 AM

    great write Mandy...congrats on a smashing win

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 10:46:00 AM

    Omgoodness Mandy, absolutely enjoyed reading this.. Awesome piece, super congratualtions on your win and thank you for the smiles, while reading this xxx

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 10:21:00 AM

    a wonderful poem from you friend Mandy. Big Congratulations!!!!! enjoy reading it (^_^)

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 10:09:00 AM

    A very funny, delitghtful tale, Mandy! A very well deserved 1st place win! Congratulations!!! Terry

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 9:47:00 AM

    Congratulations on your 1st place win, Mandy. This is hilarious. Talk about breaking the ice.... :-) Love, Suzette

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 9:15:00 AM

    Mandy--I think from now on u should just stick to sponge baths...less dangerous and more foreplay---u were one clumsy bride!! fun write!

  1. Date: 9/30/2012 9:09:00 AM

    OH! Wicked funny..excellent win !

  1. Date: 9/1/2012 8:57:00 AM

    very nice story Mandy....with a humorous touch....hugs....Joseph

    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 9/1/2012 9:04:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    it is also a very true story Joseph thanks for the comment xx
  1. Date: 8/30/2012 4:10:00 PM

    Love how you got around that naughty word! LOL Must remember that! Such a good chuckle you have provided us with today my dear Mandy... love ya, Jack

  1. Date: 8/30/2012 3:53:00 PM

    Oh, talk about painting a picture with words, Mandy you are wicked, i hope you go around with a Danger sign on your person. So Funny are these, i'll see you on stage yet, you sure know how to brighten soup up, long may you reign Golden Girl

  1. Date: 8/30/2012 2:45:00 PM

    hahaha, love the way you got bitch in!! I remember this. was it in a blog? I think you should win hands down!! Clever as all get out. Thanks for your kind comment on my HM limerick. Luv, Andrea

  1. Date: 8/30/2012 1:51:00 PM

    LOL, had a good chuckle here - always know you'll make me laugh : ) Congrats on all your wins

  1. Date: 8/30/2012 10:35:00 AM

    Honeymoon can not be returned. This is at least remembered forever. Good written Mandy - like it. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :):) :)

  1. Date: 8/30/2012 9:46:00 AM

    Loved the humor in this poem Mandy. Thanks for making me laugh. Luv, Gail

  1. Date: 8/30/2012 9:39:00 AM

    Whooee...sorry not laughing at your hurting head or his...pun intended...just that the whole scenario is hilarious. Hope the next attempt at honeymooning went much better. A lovely Quatrain. Thanks for your congrats and visits. One love. Joy Wells