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THE VANISHING ORGAN

Sam Ebenezer
a sad ol' geezer
was lamenting his shrinkage of late:
my worthless ding-a-ling
is a bell without ring
my manhood in diminishing state
 
From whence I salute
is thin as a flute
and soft to the touch as cashmere
I search with persistence
it offers resistance
on nature's call to appear
 
On heeding that call
no waterfall
a few errant droplets at best
where once from the middle
I gushed, now I piddle
and half of my load veers west
 
Both feet on the urn
pushing forth from astern
I chant 'emerge hocus-pocus'
with my punctured esteem
watch the pitiful stream
dwindle to drops as Limp loses focus
 
Our wee-membered friend
wished his size to amend
the stiffness rerouted from his joints
have it rise to occasion
and stand to attention
consulted ol' Doc for his viewpoint:

My snake is dead
no flesh;  just head
lies comatose and useless 
my garden hose
once warmed my toes
now wrinkled, dry and juiceless 

The senile old doctor
by name Alfred Proctor
had most of his wit in absentia
his breath smelt cheesy
Ebenezer felt queasy
Doc clearly suffered from senile dementia
 
Doc's hand took a dip
to just 'neath his ribs 
as Ebenezer voiced his concern
Doc smiled all the while
said:  your hopes are futile
there's no cure for your vanishing organ
 
I lost my virility
before my senility
long mourned my lost pride-and-joy
put my plight to rest
on realizing I'm blessed
to have in hand my own built-in toy

**************************************



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  1. Date: 5/16/2013 11:30:00 PM

    I could have sworn I've commented on this one before *shrugs*... as I'm usual I'm quite speechless. You describe it all too perfectly... it makes me wonder what you're thinking about a great deal of the time (looks around suspiciously... lol). Witty to the extreme... but definitely not something for kiddies to read... You're just too much Delysia!

  1. Date: 5/16/2013 11:30:00 PM

    I could have sworn I've commented on this one before *shrugs*... as I'm usual I'm quite speechless. You describe it all too perfectly... it makes me wonder what you're thinking about a great deal of the time (looks around suspiciously... lol). Witty to the extreme... but definitely not something for kiddies to read... You're just too much Delysia!

  1. Date: 5/10/2013 1:04:00 PM

    Congrats on your win.

  1. Date: 5/10/2013 8:33:00 AM

    Congrats on the win with this hilarious and nicely worded write, lol!!

  1. Date: 5/10/2013 5:00:00 AM

    Faving this one. So witty and clever you are. Congrats on your win. Rick

  1. Date: 5/9/2013 11:49:00 PM

    Congratulations not only for your win but for this witty and intelligent write.

  1. Date: 5/9/2013 11:03:00 PM

    Delysia., thank you for impressing me with your awesome poem. Congrats ~SKAT~

  1. Date: 3/25/2013 8:55:00 AM

    Well done, well done!~(I have enough trepidation about eventually becoming a senior, as is!)~ Strong, creative use of words -- so many great lines. "is thin as a flute/and soft to the touch as cashmere" -- "a few errant droplets at best/where once from the middle/I gushed, now I piddle/and half of my load veers west" (O.o) Ha ha!

  1. Date: 3/20/2013 6:32:00 PM

    Congrats, Delysia. Well done. Nice going. hugs, Ralph

  1. Date: 3/18/2013 6:37:00 PM

    Delysia, thanks for the chuckle and awesome poem.. always~ LINDA

  1. Date: 3/18/2013 6:18:00 PM

    Delysia, this is my favorite! Pretty sure all the guys will get a kick out of it!

  1. Date: 3/18/2013 5:54:00 PM

    Delysia, this is oh soooo right, as a nurse, I hear the men bemoan this fact. well done....Seren

  1. Date: 3/10/2013 10:27:00 AM

    That's....quite a write! ;) How did you find the words to describe everything so....well? I must say....I'm impressed with your creative ability!

  1. Date: 3/9/2013 5:14:00 PM

    A glimpse of the future for us fellers? How can you possibly find anything funny in this? Women! Okay, I suppose it is quite amusing as long as it'shappening to someone else. Very clever. - Red

  1. Date: 8/26/2012 11:55:00 PM

    My husband just wanted to know what I was laughing about. This is so well written. I really look forward to reading more of your work. Great poem. Lee

  1. Date: 8/24/2012 9:17:00 PM

    Ah, the flower finally wilts in this hilarious verse. Nobody could say it like you and that's what keeps us all laughing. Hope everyone beats a path to your page and joins in the hysterics! Love, Lizzie PS We sure missed you! :)

  1. Date: 8/22/2012 9:28:00 PM

    Delysia, this is amazing.. very creative,,, i had to read this out loud..lol... now i feel a bit crazy... I love it... xox~pd

  1. Date: 8/22/2012 12:31:00 PM

    LOL, I was chuckling throughout this one - thanks for a laugh this evening : )

  1. Date: 8/22/2012 9:39:00 AM

    you are a force of nature. this is a scary piece but you pulled it off. epic but very good. killing me softly.

    loving iii Avatar john loving iii Date: 8/22/2012 9:40:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    why haven't i heard about you?
  1. Date: 8/22/2012 8:28:00 AM

    SO PRECISELY WHAT IS THE PROCESS?A WOMAN SITS DOWN AND CONSTRUCTS POETRY THAT COULDN'T MAKE PEOPLE SMILE MORE,MAKE PEOPLE SEE THAT THERE IS MORE THAN THE BLOOD AND GORE I WRITE ABOUT AND MAKE A MAUDLIN MAN LIKE MYSELF THANK THE UNIVERSE IT DECIDED TO CREATE POETS LIKE THIS ONE-JUST SO WELL DONE--YOURS IN PEACE, PAIN, POETRY, PROTECTION AND PER CHANCE PERFECTION (YOUR PERFECTION OF COURSE, THE UNIVERSE KNOWS AIN'T NOTHIN' PERFECT 'BOUT ME BUT FOR MY IMPERFECTIONS) FONDLY PHREE POETREE ~free cee!~

  1. Date: 8/22/2012 5:09:00 AM

    oh Delyshia so great to hear from u dear.. poor Sam has his dilemma.. well written with great style and humor.. aging is the pits most times.. my hands are giving me pain and grief but I am holding on luv.. hyope all is going fantastic for u .. wow..

  1. Date: 8/21/2012 9:48:00 PM

    All I can say about Sam Ebenezer is "poor guy". Good write Delysia.

  1. Date: 8/21/2012 8:47:00 PM

    hahaha. There are some really great lines in this one. I would call this eloquent humor!!

  1. Date: 8/21/2012 4:10:00 AM

    if it don't stand to attention, i just thought i'd mention, i slap it in the furrow to plow, keep on a plowing, allowing intention, just as long as it works anyhow, things perhaps get hard soon the snug cuddle bug card, a rising, the end result of invention. :re THE VANISHING ORGAN delysia hendricks Don

    JOHNSON Avatar DON JOHNSON Date: 8/21/2012 4:05:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    its all about concentration emotion and keeping the mind on the job....a little distraction, some shiela yapping, mr floppy aint doing the job... got to have an excuse hehe
  1. Date: 8/21/2012 1:30:00 AM

    Another good one, del..keep them coming..! Jag

  1. Date: 8/20/2012 5:57:00 PM

    Different ....Sara

  1. Date: 8/20/2012 2:00:00 PM

    my, del... your sense of humor is crisp and impeccable.. at first i thought i was into a scrooge mode, then the giggles started to ripple!... you have the power!... love this and hope to read more of you!... :) huggs!

  1. Date: 8/20/2012 4:13:00 AM

    Gosh Delysia, you got me giggling first thing this morning when I read this.. Just a pity my phone was "playing up" and I couldn't leave you a comment earlier. Hope your Monday is a good one.. Ek sien dis darem nie so nat vandag ne :)