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Just Desserts for Rats

Andrea Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich - LIFETIME Premium Member Andrea Dietrich - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Just Desserts for Rats which was written by poet Andrea Dietrich. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Just Desserts for Rats

Still touching the hilt of the sword, she declares, “No fencing for HIM at the end of the month. His pastime is so bloody boring!” The mouse in her house regards her with cockiness from underneath a chair. “Yeah, BEN, my FRIEND, I’m talking to YOU.” She returns the stare of the mouse. “And you sure do make a racket at night down here on this kitchen flooring!” The ashes she flicks from her cigarette fall soundlessly to the tiles. She casually leafs through a travel brochure she holds, then looks over at “Ben.” “Yeah, that husband of mine sure thought he could fool me, but he’ll never try that again.” She fixes her gaze on Ben’s beady eyes and then back on the pages and smiles. There were rendezvous spots of her husband she’d got from a slime ball she’d hired to sleuth. “He did a good job, that big tub of lard. Yes, I do have to give him that, but he sure knew how to give me the creeps with his body all sweaty and fat.” She puts some milk on sweet rice in a bowl. “I only wanted the truth. Cat got your tongue? Too bad there’s no cat. I’d love to see you get swallowed.” The mouse doesn’t flinch. Now she looks down at a pile of the sleuth’s photographs. “This first batch of pictures wasn’t so hot.” She turns to the rodent and laughs. “But this second group. . . .Every cent was well-spent to have that bastard followed!” She puts the rice pudding with milk on the floor near a form that is centered there and stoops as she pours from a bottle marked “poison” its contents into the bowl. She leans down beside the shape on the floor, saying, “Soon you‘ll have Ben‘s company.” And then to the mouse: “ Come here, little rat, come now and eat till you’re full.” Then grabbing her bags pre-packed for Australia, she kicks at the form on the floor so carefully centered - kicks right at the spot where the sword’s blade so easily entered. For the Dirty Deeds Contest

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  1. Date: 8/28/2012 3:47:00 PM
    Not much for rats and mice but this was a unique poem Andrea. love phyl

  1. Date: 8/23/2012 7:27:00 AM
    Thanks for your comments! Enjoyed your poem! Take care! JP

  1. Date: 8/21/2012 1:19:00 PM
    Well, it will probably will be a winner..Sort of kreepy though..Very creative on your part..Good luck in the contest..Thanks for stopping by..Sara

    Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 8/21/2012 8:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    thanks, I love creepy stuff and wish I could be another stephen king!
  1. Date: 8/21/2012 12:22:00 PM
    Interesting dirty game, penned well. Good luck for the contest. Loved always, bl

  1. Date: 8/21/2012 11:43:00 AM
    Oooooooooooooooooh! I really like this one! Poor little Ben! Hahah. Brilliant one. :D Always, Laura

  1. Date: 8/21/2012 9:41:00 AM
    Oh, yeah, she's goin' down under. I coulda lent ya one of my cats, or even all of them. Please elaborate on what you found out about your husband. I agree, you couldn't put up with two rats in the family. Stellar write, dear Andrea. Love, daver

    Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 8/21/2012 8:13:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    hahaha, and you think i would admit to all this if I were the woman? heehee
  1. Date: 8/21/2012 8:14:00 AM
    the mouse didn't have much of a chance, a suspenseful story , well written.I enjoyed reading it. God bless you. Hugs!Erich

  1. Date: 8/20/2012 9:07:00 AM
    Masterful story, Andrea...see you really DO NEED TO BRANCH OUT!! This is massive proof! Enjoyed your creative gift here this morning--what a treat! gwendolen (still working on the "move" and it is all I have time to do! ughhh!) Love to ya, gwendolen

  1. Date: 8/20/2012 5:18:00 AM
    well i certainly enjoyed reading this, a wonderful story well crafted, good luck here with this.

  1. Date: 8/20/2012 3:18:00 AM
    Oh my my! What a lady! And Andrea you weave such a thriller story that it is captivating like a plot from some novel. Good luck dear.

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 2:56:00 PM
    Bon Voyage! Have a nice trip. :)

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 2:03:00 PM
    I had to look hard but found the rhyme in this weird captivating story of a woman's musings. Hope they aren't yours and you go out there and wreak havoc. Hope your "dirty deeds" win the day! Love, Lizzie I'm just full of hope today! :)

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 12:45:00 PM
    Lovely write Andrea! Thanks for all your comments on my poems. I have missed so much on the soup

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 12:26:00 PM
    Oh, you so got the intent of my sonnet! Montreal kisses on both cheeks for you! It IS anti meter, anti-form, yet still gives a proper 'nod' to the original form (something most mod sonneteers do, as they have crushes on sonnets, just not on rules ;-) )

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 12:14:00 PM
    nice story for the dirty deeds contest Andrea...best wishes...Love...Joseph

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 11:52:00 AM
    Really dirty deed done there Andrea; well spotted.." ( best wishes for contest ) Joe..)

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 11:27:00 AM
    Wowser! That`s entertaining poetry indeed:) Best wishes at the Dirty Deeds,Andrea! Arild

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 10:16:00 AM
    Freaken mouse! Maybe a kangaroo with think it's a joey, stick it in its pouch, then hop away in leaps and bounds!:) Love this narrative/personification, Andrea! She sounds like such a persnickity little creature! Another outstanding write!! Love, Mikki

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 8:38:00 AM
    wow, love this write, my friend

  1. Date: 8/19/2012 7:59:00 AM
    I love this, Andrea! A wonderfully entertaining story. Best wishes in the contest! Love, Kim

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