I dared to love a vampire, oh fascinating maid,
all legs with lustrous red hair smooth as silk,
pleasing to the eye.
Dwells dost she in some delicious coffin,
of cherry-wood ebony.
Have ye ever seen the beautiful dead?
faces so young, full of dread
Cause somewhere lurks the beast madness!!
beware old men on bicycles and train crossings in hell,
If lost, stay lost.
One glorious Tuscan evening I cared to pass about,
Oh! ancient villa,
In the air this night, lovely, lovely bats
with dirty little whiskers, like dirty little rats.
Now in Hell they celebrate Christmas,
Scoffing cake and such the like,
Now hear a secret, us dead don’t cry.
Please remember me,
You see it hurts so,
If you don’t.