The serene mask I wear so well,
Falters and slips with every punishing blow.
I smile and laugh so you won’t see my reflection,
The joy you find causes me so much disaffection.
Is this the life you want me to have
When jealousy and hatred lies beneath
Washing ashore our mangled justified teeth?
I decapitate my conscience from my heart,
That’s the only way we ever got this far.
You say “I love you“ I say “I love you too“,
But why must I feel like I’m vanishing into the abyss without you?
I scream, you yell
I swear, you’re awakened
Is this time for real or are you just faking?
You say the right words that mean so much to me.
Yet the very next day we push each other down into the dead sea.
I find myself floating alone with the debris
Searching for the one I thought could finally set me free
Scorchingly I realise I've been shackled gasping for that loving air
With a feeling that just won’t escape
It’s not love or hate but something that resides just below the surface
Lapping at the burning scars in its wake.