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FREE CEE THIS ONE IS GUARANTEED TO OFFEND PLENTY OF YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS PHOOLS

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Below is the poem entitled FREE CEE THIS ONE IS GUARANTEED TO OFFEND PLENTY OF YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS PHOOLS which was written by poet jeffry cohan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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FREE CEE THIS ONE IS GUARANTEED TO OFFEND PLENTY OF YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS PHOOLS

      






     THE SECOND COMING OF AN  IMMACULATE MIS-CONCEPTION

I hear preachers claim that Jesus walks by my side
Alas, Jesus has also lasciviously lied
I can’t see Jesus with my very own eyes
Yet with my ear I hear all of His lies

The Bible promises that Jesus always protects me
Until our Lord Jesus ultimately rejects me
I know Jesus is supposed to be my Lord
But quite frankly by my Lord I am
frightfully bored
I am married to Jesus at least that’s what I read in His Holy Word
Yet now I seek the seclusion of divorce and the freedom of a flight blessed bird


Jesus made a mansion for those he sets free
Well Jesus would rather I live under a rotted and well-weathered tree

Jesus healed the sick and also fed the poor
As for me he has only a well slammed front door
Jesus took water and in His chalice wine was made
Only I was there and know He used a packet of grape Kool-Aid
And if you tell me in His time Kool-Aid wasn’t even known
I’ll tell you that Jesus created it for His use alone
Jesus could have taken his act on the road
But He wouldn’t have been so popular since David Copperfield can turn a tiger into a toad
Jesus took fishes and loaves and fed a whole mess of folks
Well you didn’t hear it from me but He also dispensed eggs with no yolks
And when Jesus created mankind he made millions of very sick jokes 

Yesterday I bought a Bible but it was way overpriced
and dig the sh*t out of this fact Jesus Christ
They say you came for sinners and the righteous alike
Well my lesbian sister knows that your Mary Magdalene was a dike!
                                         © 2012…..PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~


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  1. Date: 7/3/2012 9:59:00 AM

    well i'm not offended, lots of people feel the same way...David

  1. Date: 7/2/2012 8:43:00 PM

    Why are you being so blasphemous? You are capable of writing some very beautiful poetry. I don't understand your need to mock God.