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A LADY WITH SMILING FACE

jayachandran chakrapany Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled A LADY WITH SMILING FACE which was written by poet jayachandran chakrapany. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A LADY WITH SMILING FACE

Don’t know her name 
But whenever I see her 
Always with a laughing face, 
Sitting beneath the shadow of 
A large oak tree, on a wheelchair, 
Doing painting on a canvas mostly 
Rarely  making garlands with gems 
At first rarely we met each other 
But gradually it becomes one 
Of my routine to walk on the way 
Beside her house only just to see her 
Nowadays I am very eager to know, 
But no way, did she make one time 
Even, paint my face on her canvas 
Or in her mind, I don’t know. 



 I am a lonely man and a farmer .all of my love poems is only my dreams and imaginations .my vocabulary is limited .so i try to write poems as a common man speaks .i do not know much about Grammar .help me to improve all of my writings .i will accept all of your suggestions happily .jk

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  1. Date: 6/22/2012 1:11:00 AM

    A few lines need revising, e.g 'At first rarely we meet each other' should read At first we rarely met each other.' And 'Rarely with making garlands in gems' should read Rarely making garlands with gems - leave out the 'with' . . . and a few others. Work on your syntax. I enjoyed reading it - particularly the final lines: 'Even, paint my face on her canvas/or in her mind, I don't know.' A great theme and ending. Keep persevering with the grammar jay'.

    chakrapany Avatar jayachandran chakrapany Date: 6/22/2012 1:28:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thank you .I have modified this poem as per your suggestions .thank you for your advice .jk
  1. Date: 6/22/2012 12:38:00 AM

    Wonderful attempt I could say. You'd sure learn a lot from this wonderful site. Simply reading and observing would benefit you too. Thanks for your kind words on my page.

    chakrapany Avatar jayachandran chakrapany Date: 6/22/2012 1:28:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks.jk
  1. Date: 6/21/2012 10:50:00 AM

    Perhaps you should have spoke to this friendly lady, after all she did smile at you, and you walked by : (

    chakrapany Avatar jayachandran chakrapany Date: 6/21/2012 11:13:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thanks .jk
  1. Date: 6/21/2012 10:49:00 AM

    You make the same mistakes that people who've been speaking English all of their lives have made so I've never really paid much attention to your errors specifically. I like that you're requesting help from the Poetry Soup community. Next time, for you, I will alert you of the mistakes I notice. But right now, it's either "doing paintingS on A canvas" or "doing A painting on A canvas" - you only have "doing painting on canvas" limited characters so message me on why if you'd like <3

    chakrapany Avatar jayachandran chakrapany Date: 6/21/2012 11:09:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    thank you for your advice .I have modified this poem as per your suggestion .thank you very much .jk