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Bipolar

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Below is the poem entitled Bipolar which was written by poet JustcallMe Britt. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Bipolar

What’s big to me may be small for you
But when you hurt I hurt too
So many different phases I’ve been through
Withdrawal & self-indulgence just to name a few
I dodge sleep to note this nonsense to both me and you
My desperate attempt at understanding 
Has only led to more questions
I remember when medication numbed me well enough to stay quiet
Nonchalant 
A zombie!
All last night I cried and cried
And
You slept while I died all the more inside
I don’t have all the answers
One thing I know is
Dreaming and fantasizing 
In these worlds I find solace 
Seeing and realizing
It hurts…
It hurts…
People have been so unfair –
But then again 
What is fair?
So many questions…
Once upon a time,
I’ve put down my pen 
And 
Followed doctors and drugs
Their drugs, my drugs
Just stop judging me and fix me!
I’ve put down the drugs
Picked up a pen
And this is the reason other people say I’m doing well?
What’s real?
I can’t tell
Is it what you tell me or what I tell me?
Drugs have concealed me
Silenced me…
Taught me that I don’t have to feel just see
And shake my head
Now I can both feel 
And
Shake my head
I can verbalize 
Sure
But I’d rather not talk just write
I can write and write just to get it out on paper
But
It’s still in my mind
I’m not fixed
Still I cry and cry
While you sleep
So which am I supposed to choose?
Solace or the truth?

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  1. Date: 6/18/2012 12:21:00 PM
    it doesn't get any realer than this, i know how you feel, my mom is bipolar and it can get tough to live with, i applaud this poem and keep up the good work

  1. Date: 6/12/2012 12:04:00 AM
    Penetrating words...a reality check!

  1. Date: 6/11/2012 6:58:00 PM
    This is coming from your soul dear woman, stay real but keep your eyes on the stars they will lead your heart to the light, you are a mirror of there great and wonder beauty, you are his child and he loves you always, Vie.

  1. Date: 6/11/2012 6:25:00 PM
    Your poem touched me inside and I started to cry. My daughter is bipolar and I hear her voice in your words. i see your truth in her actions. My poem This Girl is about her.

  1. Date: 6/10/2012 3:55:00 PM
    MHHHH WOW STUPENDOUS WRITE!!!

  1. Date: 6/10/2012 1:07:00 PM
    "Very deep in depth with your soul here britt, intense. Carma"

  1. Date: 6/10/2012 11:09:00 AM
    You really brought across the crux of this illness Brittany... Thank you for your comment on my poem earlier :) Wilma

  1. Date: 6/10/2012 11:03:00 AM
    Very deep poem.... Hang in there