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Prolonged Exposure

Black Eyed Susan Avatar Black Eyed Susan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Prolonged Exposure which was written by poet Black Eyed Susan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Prolonged Exposure

I’ve covered the mirrors in our house
With colored sheets, while choking on grief
Black, blue, and green, to my bewildered spouse
Who has wondered what has become of me
And why suddenly I’ve begun mourning

He thinks that I’m a reflection of him
So he doesn’t notice the wounds within
The marring of my spirit’s complexion
Permanent, from his reoccurring sins
That have shaped me into his perfection

My face is clear so you would never guess
That person staring back isn’t me
Mirrors can’t show underlying distress
Only the lie he wants others to see
Not the despair slowly growing, steeping

Don’t look bewildered at my draping sheets
If you look, the nude is there, underneath
Reflecting the lie that it has become
Prolonged exposure to fisting complete
Now mourning the death of someone it loved


5/8-5/9/12
For "Your Birthday Suit" Contest

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  1. Date: 5/17/2012 7:42:00 PM

    Enthralling write....your bared your soul with this one Susan....Many congrats!

  1. Date: 5/17/2012 8:34:00 AM

    STUPENDOUS WRITE!!! My favorite lines is,The marring of my spirit’s complexion Permanent, from his reoccurring sins That have shaped me into his perfection.

  1. Date: 5/17/2012 8:34:00 AM

    STUPENDOUS WRITE!!! My favorite lines is,The marring of my spirit’s complexion Permanent, from his reoccurring sins That have shaped me into his perfection.

  1. Date: 5/16/2012 7:58:00 PM

    Susan, this poem blew me out of the water! Belated congrats, I'm sending, with a genuine thank you for letting inspiration take you where IT wanted to take you. By the way, loved the last stanza the most, especially the sophisticated rhyme scheme that used both internal rhyme and such lovely assonance (a subject I would like to address in my next devices blog... sigh... if I can find time!) hugs to you hon, chin up and stay true to your muse. Trust your personal style ... ;-) Cyndi

  1. Date: 5/16/2012 4:28:00 PM

    Hi, Susan, your poem is perfect... don't change a word. Add all the ING~ you want... Life is like a mirror always waiting to be seen. I love what life accomplishes ..once it's all completed...lol.... love the last 2 lines the most... sorry~ I was commenting on Nathan's comments on the bottom.. . We are WAR-ING right now. always~ The Poet Destroyer

  1. Date: 5/15/2012 8:47:00 PM

    and thanks so much for reading my poems today. I don't think you have a new one for me to see. Luv, Andrea

  1. Date: 5/15/2012 8:46:00 PM

    Susan, you asked what was wrong with Abelard putting love away. WEll, here is the tragedy of their love story. The uncle got mad at him for getting Heloise pregnant so he had some guys sneak up on Abelard and castrate him. In the end, he decided to just become a monk or priest or something, and Heloise became a nun (though she couldn't get into it the way Abelard gave himself to being a monk). REad "Stealing Heaven" It is so fascinating.

  1. Date: 5/15/2012 3:05:00 PM

    Wow! Very profound poem Susan. I wish I couldn't relate, but I empathize and find it cathartic to express these kind of feelings most of us are exposed to in a lifetime. I hope this was created for the contest and not from your personal experiences. Blessings, and thank you for your comment.

    Marcum Wong Avatar Connie Marcum Wong Date: 5/15/2012 3:08:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I forgot to Congratulate you on your super win!
  1. Date: 5/13/2012 12:39:00 PM

    Discovering Congrats on your win in Cyndi's contest Susan. Your poem was my favorite on the winners list. It is powerful, honest and emotive. I have read it many times and keep discovering something new I love. This one goes to my faves and you are one of my favorite poets. God bless you, Rhonda

    Johnson-Saunders Avatar Rhonda Johnson-Saunders Date: 5/13/2012 12:41:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I have no idea why "discovering" came out before congrats. I think my kindle has a mind of its own. Sorry....
  1. Date: 5/12/2012 7:49:00 AM

    A very dark and powerful poem, Susan. Congrats on the big win.

  1. Date: 5/12/2012 6:17:00 AM

    this is riveting Susan. love, Kathy

  1. Date: 5/12/2012 5:27:00 AM

    congrats on your win Susan

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 7:49:00 PM

    YAAAYYYY, it's so good to see this high on the list, Susan. Did you see her blog where she showed your poem with the other top placed ones? Congrats my friend!

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 7:41:00 PM

    Congratulations Susan on your win with this beautiful poem.

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 7:20:00 AM

    Congratulations on your win in Cyndi's "Your Birthday Suit" contest Susan. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 4:49:00 AM

    Congratulation on your birthday suit win Susan xx

  1. Date: 5/11/2012 2:56:00 AM

    Susan congrats on your win..David

  1. Date: 5/10/2012 9:05:00 AM

    he he he sorry i am practicing my poetry critiquing and you one of many victims today so if i did bad dont hold it against me. i do like the poem and like all the others i am smitten with the face so clear you woulndt know it wasn't me. thanks for stopping by and supporting me best wishes to you and yours and the avatar is a baby i once tried to eat i will post the pic of it when i got it in the pot

    A. Avatar Jakitz A. Date: 5/17/2012 4:23:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    shut up and get back in the kitchen.
    A  Avatar Poet Destroyer A Date: 5/16/2012 4:24:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    It's funny Susan, if i were to comment like this on a males poem... I would never hear the end of it. But, yet he can charm you and talk to you on a comment... Gosh, I'm gonna go and call every man on the soup, my next victim... lets see how he likes it.... xox
    A  Avatar Poet Destroyer A Date: 5/16/2012 4:20:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    you are so stupid Nathan.... Susan, that picture is my granddaughter. He fell in love with the picture and asked if he could use it.
  1. Date: 5/10/2012 9:03:00 AM

    i would change the last line of the first stanza to something like "And why I have suddenly begun to mourn" the ing ending just seems out of place to me which leads me to the growing, steeping ending of the third stanza. it displeases me. the ing again is out of place but double so since its follows an ing word. i would drop the comma and steeping and add an adjative instead of another verb.

    A  Avatar Poet Destroyer A Date: 5/16/2012 4:18:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    lol, he's always asking me for help...
  1. Date: 5/9/2012 4:20:00 PM

    I agree with Marlon here. The part about the face so clear. ... that whole third stanza is so profound. Very different work from you, Susan. It's Dizan, huh? Unique!

  1. Date: 5/9/2012 2:00:00 PM

    Deep and very good...my face is clear so you would never guess; that person staring back isn't me! I'm stuck on that alone! Hey there Poet...

  1. Date: 5/9/2012 10:34:00 AM

    Susan cool take on the theme, good luck..David

  1. Date: 5/9/2012 8:49:00 AM

    Very nicely done...a deep and intensely emotional piece...I enjoyed reading your poem today!