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Twilight

"Twillight"*

A 'Swan' in town
can be found on
school ground --that's me

bored and off qi
rain daunts me --'till
I see him there...

can't help but stare
his eyes glare --so
aware...I thirst!


deborah burch
4/10/2012
For: Nette's "Than-Bauk Twilight" contest
_________________________________________
*inspired by the book/movie: "Twilight"


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  1. Date: 4/26/2012 3:32:00 PM

    Congrad's on your win. Light & Love

  1. Date: 4/19/2012 4:43:00 PM

    Got a chuckle...Great winning work..Congrats..Sara

  1. Date: 4/19/2012 5:34:00 AM

    Congratulations on your well deserved win in Nette's "Than-Bauk" contest Deborah. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 4/18/2012 12:57:00 PM

    Nicely done...........George

  1. Date: 4/18/2012 11:41:00 AM

    Congratulations on your inspiration. And win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 4/18/2012 5:58:00 AM

    Congratulations on your well deserved win Deb xx

  1. Date: 4/11/2012 9:49:00 AM

    Sweet write Deborah , Best wishes ,Declan xxx

    Burch Avatar Deborah Burch Date: 4/11/2012 10:01:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you so much Dec...it's good to see you...BIG HUGGS (((((O))))),love deb
  1. Date: 4/11/2012 2:51:00 AM

    hi susan... the first 3 lines are okay.. treed on 4th line doesn;t seem to rhyme with "machine", and so on... you got 6-9 lines right.. did i make sense or are you more confused??.. let me know!..:) huggs!

    Burch Avatar Deborah Burch Date: 4/11/2012 2:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    lol...no nette, I understand now...and I can't blame this on my blonde hair either :O!! Let me see what I can do... thank you so much...lol..love, deb
  1. Date: 4/11/2012 2:11:00 AM

    thanks for joining, deborah.. so nice!.. kindly check rhyme pattern and syl count... i have placed an example on the contest page.. if you need to revise, just edit and update your poem... will do another blog on this later!:) huggs!

  1. Date: 4/11/2012 12:36:00 AM

    Great write.

    Burch Avatar Deborah Burch Date: 4/11/2012 12:54:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanx Elliot, so much...big huggs,love deb