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I just don't understand. I was raised right and taught to be a man. Yet i lived a life of being ranked. Listening as the girls explained what i lacked. I wasn't a bad kid. I didn't enjoy doing the stupid stuff the players did. I always had a smile on my face. Didn't walk around sagging and acting like a fake thug. And yet... I was treated like a nobody. Barely acknowledged and always underestimated. Now i'm not saying this for pity. I'm saying this cuz i have realized i have never truly said how i felt. Anger always under the surface from my past i have to let these emotions, these feelings out before its 2 late. For an example, today i yelled at a teacher. Now the teacher was annoying. I was sitting doing my work and she walked up on me taking the rejection of her as a teacher by the other students out on the good kid. I was sitting there thinking about the past and she came on me. I snapped, "Lady how you gone get on me? What did i do to yo to deserve this treatment. You need to focus on your bad kids and back up off of me. I don't feel like talking to you." I put my head down and covered myself with my hands realizing that i had an explosion of emotion, dealt on an innocent bystander. I need to let these emotions that are rumbling and shaking, hiding in the shadows, showing a side of me that i don't know, i need to let these emotions out! How to do this i don't really know. Should i yell at the top of my lungs that i hate the world? Go back to the crushes of my past and slap those stupid, foolish, girls? No i think this has been enough. I thank you for listening to my words. No responses needed i just needed to be heard. Already my muscles tense from the emotions have started to relax. I feel so releived, as if i had just took a deep breath after a lack of oxygen. There's nothing else really to say. Again, i must thank you for listening to this.
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