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the trade

my love shines on you
a spiritual exchange
desire shines on me


give yourself to me
you can have anything you want
except your freedom

Please Login to post a comment
 
  1. Darwish Avatar
    Khalid Darwish
    Date: 9/6/2012 11:40:00 AM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Excellent piece. Line 5 the word 'anything' counts 3 syllables and this makes the line counts 8 syllables rather than 7. I can suggest you change it to read 'all things'. I enjoyed the read
  1. Grisetti Avatar
    Joann Grisetti
    Date: 4/11/2012 6:30:00 PM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    'freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose.' I'll keep what I ain't got. Like the haiku, though.
  1. Kendrick Avatar
    Sara Kendrick
    Date: 3/16/2012 7:33:00 PM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yes, that is true for a couple is forever tied together..They can never be free of the other..Enjoyed reading this eve..Sara
  1. wesley Avatar
    elizabeth wesley
    Date: 2/7/2012 1:46:00 PM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Freedom is found in you.

    Situation Avatar The Situation Date: 2/7/2012 2:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    you've got that freedom too. you just see it in me.
  1. Dietrich Avatar
    Andrea Dietrich
    Date: 1/26/2012 5:08:00 PM
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    I like this one , but agree with Arild here "if I could only keep my freedom" I especially like the first in the set.
  1. Ertsland Avatar
    Arild Andresen Ertsland
    Date: 1/13/2012 1:37:00 PM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    A very passionate exchange,TS..if I could only keep my freedom;-)
  1. Squyres Avatar
    Debra Squyres
    Date: 1/12/2012 5:11:00 PM
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    hmmm...I'm not sure about the last line..but I like the rest lol Kind of dominant is what I read...perhaps not intended.
  1. freeman Avatar
    john freeman
    Date: 1/12/2012 8:49:00 AM
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    A thought provoking one TS. Eliot?? Smile. Agape, Moses
  1. loving iii Avatar
    john loving iii
    Date: 1/11/2012 4:35:00 PM
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    the way it should be done!!!
  1. Northeast Avatar
    Brenda Victoria Northeast
    Date: 1/11/2012 5:47:00 AM
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    OOH the cost of freedom is the exchange mmm Well done, T.C
  1. Andresen Avatar
    Anne Lise Andresen
    Date: 1/11/2012 5:37:00 AM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you for comment on my poem! My love shines on YOU! :)oxox Anne-Lise
  1. Anish Avatar
    Matthew Anish
    Date: 1/10/2012 5:11:00 PM
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    5 7 5 - both of them - Alright! Peace & Love Matthew Anish
  1. The Rogue Rhymer Avatar
    Natalie The Rogue Rhymer
    Date: 1/10/2012 4:49:00 PM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    This is great Situation! Like Susan said, cool boomerang effect! I'm quite impressed!
  1. khan Avatar
    yasmin khan
    Date: 1/9/2012 3:52:00 PM
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    trading with who?
  1. Susan Avatar
    Black Eyed Susan
    Date: 1/4/2012 6:49:00 PM
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    like a boomerang effect? very cool :)
  1. wesley Avatar
    elizabeth wesley
    Date: 1/4/2012 5:54:00 PM
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    Short and sweet when desire conquers all. Love your ku my friend, I find them very difficult but you make it look so easy.! :)
  1. Haniff Avatar
    Maryam Jameela Haniff
    Date: 1/4/2012 4:51:00 PM
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    emotions excellently captured dear poet... so short yet so meaningful.. thanks for sharing ..Love Maryam
  1. Kendrick Avatar
    Sara Kendrick
    Date: 1/4/2012 3:15:00 PM
    Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Very passionate write in just a few short words..Sara


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