Talk about a Christmas miracle I tell you it was just amazing,
The sale of the century and it set my charge card blazing.
Why they were practically giving the stuff away I couldn’t just turn and leave,
The prices were so Earth-shatteringly low it was impossible to believe.
And no one seemed to be around and there was an oversupply of stock,
No pushing or shoving anywhere, I was the only shopper on the block.
The checkout lines were completely empty and I didn’t have to wait,
And the gourmet coffee that the bagger gave me really tasted great.
And then my alarm went off and I saw that it was three o’clock in the morning,
I had to be ready to go by four or my sister would leave me without warning.
Black Friday comes but once a year, she said, so be ready or be in trouble deep,
But I preferred shopping in my dreams so I rolled over and went back to sleep.