You can't tell me that you didn't see this coming.
Dear Miss Monkey Manners, can you spare a minute?
I know that you help apes in trouble and I am knee deep in it.
I have a girl I’ll call Mary Beth, she’s the banana of my eye,
But I found out that she’s been seen swinging with another guy.
I could accept it if it were another ape but this guy is a human man,
I’ve asked around and in the jungle he calls himself Tarzan.
I’ve been working my way up in hopes of one day leading the troupe,
Until now I’m finally the most respected challenger in the group.
I think that I might be alpha worthy, I hope so, but here’s the thing
Everyone in the whole dang jungle now refers to him as king.
Dear Alpha male wannabe, are you saying that you know Tarzan?
If you know where he’ll be on Saturday night, I think I have a plan.
I know that you want her back and I’m sure that your girl is sweet,
But only I can do the things that will make his life complete.
You see he and I have dated before and I know what makes him fall,
I can do something special for him that’s how he got his jungle call.
Once we’re back together he won’t remember your girl’s name,
Then you can be her hero and free her from this shame.
And as for me and Tarzan, well you’d better stick a banana in your ear,
Because the screaming sounds of the king are the only sounds you’ll hear.