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crystal conifers - frosted firs

Charlotte Puddifoot Avatar Charlotte Puddifoot - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled crystal conifers - frosted firs which was written by poet Charlotte Puddifoot. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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crystal conifers - frosted firs

crystal conifers tinkle with icicles - winter's chandeliers ~~ frosted firs tinkle with icicles - cones fall
*the first version is the original; the second version was written adhering to the rules of traditional haiku

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  1. Date: 11/17/2011 3:47:00 PM
    Yes, the second one would be more acceptable for modern ones but I sure love those winter's chandeliers!! congrats on your win, Charlotte.

  1. Date: 11/17/2011 11:22:00 AM
    Congratulations Charlotte on your win in this Haiku contest of Debbie Guzzi. Love, Carol

  1. Date: 11/15/2011 3:04:00 PM
    wonderful imagery! Congratulations on your win in Debbie's contest. :) Catie

  1. Date: 11/15/2011 9:48:00 AM
    such a nice friendly image..I used to make pine cone wreathes CONGRAD's on your win! Light & Love

  1. Date: 11/14/2011 7:04:00 AM
    Charlotte version 2 [frosted firs]will move you on in the judging please remove version 1 until after the contest is over..Light & Love

  1. Date: 11/13/2011 10:44:00 AM
    I just love this Haiku dear poet ! And I like the Alternative as well ! This write is VERY good ! Have a wonderful week Charlotte ! Much love, james

  1. Date: 11/11/2011 5:32:00 PM
    Great work..Enjoyed reading..Very descriptive and creative work..I like the line tinkling icles and definitely winter's chandeliers..Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting on my work..Sara

  1. Date: 11/11/2011 5:33:00 AM
    It is very good you brought in a sound. You can work with this image but you must be simpler and factual. Yes Andie is correct no metaphors, simile, or personification for by using these you are the poet are telling us your judgement your impression which is not done in haiku..you need a new line 3 which is also in the FREEZE FRAME, momentary image and relates slightly to the first 2 lines, [line 1 also is not objective, factual you are telling us to you the icicles looked like crystal]

    Kendrick Avatar Sara Kendrick
    Date: 11/11/2011 5:30:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry


    Debbie, That is right tell her and get her straightened out..
  1. Date: 11/10/2011 6:01:00 AM
    I have enjoyed reading your poetry and wish you the best in your writing endeavors whatever they may be Charlotte. May inspiration come into your soul each and every day. I will stop in at the Soup and see how you are doing from time to time. Love and best wishes always, Carol

  1. Date: 11/9/2011 8:28:00 PM
    i'm counting sylables. i commented on your comment. if it makes you smile then that's what i want. you to smile my dear. john

  1. Date: 11/9/2011 5:11:00 PM
    Charlotte, I think this is a cute way to imagine the icicles. (I will tell you this: Debs is very picky about not using metaphors in haiku, so I hope this can do well. I happen to enjoy metaphors ANYwhere!)

  1. Date: 11/9/2011 5:00:00 PM
    * “What A Lovely Winters Image * My Dear Sweet Beautiful Charlotte * Makes Myself Consider Tahoe or Yosemite During This Time of Year * As I Beheld Your Beauties Name I Thought Myself * Yesss, Never Do I Pass Your Lovely Poetics Brush By * Always In Anticipation of Something Such As This * Jewel In Something Creative, Unique & Beautiful * My Luv, Always * Sarah.” *