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Thank you, Photoshop

Drake Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Thank you, Photoshop which was written by poet Drake Eszes. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Thank you, Photoshop

For turning my eyes into shallow Pacific blues,
because nobody likes Chocolate. 

For transforming the freckled clusterbomb on my face,
into baby skin smoothness!

Because freckles are humanity’s alleged worst enemy
and I refuse to allow my self-confidence to stay Pro-Activ.

Thank you, Photoshop
for giving me that liposuction I ALWAYS wanted
in less than 10 minutes!

Working out is BENEATH me!
And I’m too busy dating these "5 Guys".

Thank you for bathing me in your Black & White Fountain of Youth!
60 is the used 25!

I refuse attempts in removing this fallacy
crawling under my lifted eye sockets.

My wisdom wrinkles shall stay imploded under pretentious needle.

Otherwise, I can’t continue to be fed
flirtatious appetizers by horny sheeple
and bi-curious copycats
hocking hairballs at the sight
of my airbrushed collagen lips
while they dry hump my computer generated thighs.

Their retinas grope my artificially inflated Grand Canyons
which are really only peaked valleys.

Yet, they won’t look at my defaults…

So, I thank you Photoshop
for being unable
to crop my misery.

© Drake J. Eszes 
"Dedicated to those who are unable to look within themselves." -D.J.E.

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  1. Date: 9/12/2013 9:12:00 AM

    "Working out is beneath me I'm to busy dating this "5 guys" This was really good

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 9/12/2013 9:45:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hola Jennifer! Thank you so much for that. I'm glad you stopped by! =D
  1. Date: 7/23/2013 7:06:00 PM

    Holy YES! This is clever and funny and snarky - the perfect commentary on today's society. Especially loved the word play. Another one to my faves!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 7/23/2013 11:47:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I know, right? Society isn't doing any of us favors at all. Thank you so much, Heather!!! =D
  1. Date: 7/20/2013 9:13:00 AM

    haha : ) This is so funny but so true..I love to look my best but surely i don t like to look as im im someone im not..So i guess friends have to remain stucked with my pooh chocolate eyes..and poo chocolate auburnish hair : ). .I really believe true beauty is inside the heart and here amongst souperr friends i find plenty of it..For this i thankyou : ).Tnks for putting a smile on my face with your poem.

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 7/20/2013 9:17:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    HAHAHAH Hilarious. Yes, beauty is on the inside always. And thank you for doing the same for me with your comments on this. I'm very grateful, Charmaine! =D
  1. Date: 6/10/2013 9:36:00 AM

    Drake, a nice little win, in the SKAT' contest... xox~ Always & Forever *LINDA

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 6/10/2013 9:40:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hey there, Linda. Thanks very much for that! It's a great achievement and I'm very grateful. Thank you again for coming by here.
  1. Date: 6/10/2013 1:31:00 AM

    Well done :) love it. Congrats on the win :)

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 6/10/2013 6:00:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Howdy, Sasha! Thanks very much for that!
  1. Date: 6/9/2013 5:19:00 AM

    Wonderful! Congrats on a well deserved win

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 6/9/2013 6:10:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hi, Monterey! Thanks very much for that! :)
  1. Date: 6/8/2013 6:15:00 PM

    I think I am in love with this poem!! You had me at "bi-curious copycats hocking hairballs at the sight of my airbrushed collagen lips while they dry hump my computer generated thighs." ROTFLMAO. m

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 6/8/2013 6:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Best. Comment. Today. Hi & thank you very much, Mari!!!! :)
  1. Date: 6/7/2013 2:05:00 PM

    Um...I think I gotta try this Photo Shop thing...Absolutely hilarious and congrats - Tim

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 6/7/2013 2:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    No, no you really don't. LOL Thanks so much, Tim!
  1. Date: 6/7/2013 12:46:00 PM

    Drake, here's your winning line -So, I thank you Photoshop for being unable to crop my misery.- enough said! CONGRATS! SKAT

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 6/7/2013 1:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hey Skat. Very, very cool to see! Thank you very much for the opportunity! This was fun!
  1. Date: 6/7/2013 11:52:00 AM

    Too funny, but, oh so true, Sometimes I think I should conceal the dark circles, my sis and bro had freckles " redheads" Thanks for liking my Down In The Valley".

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 6/7/2013 11:56:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ha. Thanks, Debbie! :) Don't conceal anything. Let it shine! ;) I'm glad you stopped by!
  1. Date: 5/16/2013 10:39:00 PM

    There were times while reading this I literally laughed out loud... too busy dating these "5 guys"... burgers and fries, you're so clever! It's amazing to think of all those high gloss celebrities look just like everyone else... beneath all the make up. And for your information I'm covered in freckles (I always liked them because they made me look different from everyone else... lol). Your pen was destined to write in free-verse... your imagination just goes so well with it.

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 5/16/2013 11:49:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ha! I remember reading this piece at an Open Mic and I said "5 Guys", half the room stared at me (probably the Vegans) and the other half were a mix of groans & loud laughter. It was a trippy moment. :) And YAY for the freckles! Awesome! Thanks so much, Tim!
  1. Date: 12/11/2011 10:13:00 AM

    Oh, this I like. Isn't it odd, how all those gloss-faced beauties seem to lack pores. Thanks for this.

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 12/11/2011 1:41:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    LOL (yes, I really did laugh out loud)!!! So well said. Damn. And thank YOU for that awesomely epic comment!
  1. Date: 11/20/2011 5:09:00 PM

    Oh how acerbic and brilliant! Oh dear there goes my breakfast again! You are challening my brain how awesome! LT

  1. Date: 11/19/2011 8:31:00 PM

    What a write! (my friend just loves photoshopping pics of me and her together. It's pretty stupid!)

  1. Date: 11/19/2011 1:48:00 PM

    I loved this! Thank you for liking my Halloween poem. Nola

  1. Date: 11/10/2011 7:46:00 AM

    I love this! I enjoyed reading all the discriptions. It's a sad truth that many people do feel this way. But you show the ridiculousness of the whole thing. Love this!

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 11/10/2011 9:24:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I did what I could here. :) I do thank you for coming this way, Jessica.
  1. Date: 11/9/2011 12:57:00 AM

    Very interesting piece, Drake-- I definitely enjoyed reading this and yup, how sad really how some people have become so superficial-- really cool way of tackling the subject-- that line about Pro-Activ was very cool btw ;)

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 11/10/2011 9:24:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yes, quite sad indeed. LOL and thank you too. :)
  1. Date: 10/9/2011 10:56:00 PM

    Looking in or out can be very difficult - maybe prescription rose colored glasses would help. I had lots of fun reading this Drake, your descriptions are way out!!! :)

    Eszes Avatar Drake Eszes Date: 10/10/2011 8:33:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Yes it can be. Ha, thank you! :)