We want to rub him out, blot him from the face of the Earth,
Feed what’s left to the worms and let them claim his worth.
OK, I’m in, but how do we go about it? Tell me what’s your plan?
We need to do it nice and clean but still be certain he kicks the can.
We don’t want any loose ends lying around waiting to trip us up,
Every angle needs to be checked for a deed that’s this corrupt.
So how do we do him in, with gun or switchblade knife?
Do we poison him or crack his skull which way will end his life?
We could shove him off a building and watch him make a splash,
Or strangle him around the throat and then toss him in the trash.
We could fill up balloons with gasoline and then light a candlestick,
Then put a little hole in each balloon with just a needle prick.
Eventually the room will fill up with gas and then the fumes will ignite,
He’d be blown to kingdom come which would only serve him right.
The time lag would give us a chance to establish an alibi airtight,
Maybe attend the baseball game, the team’s at home tonight.
I really must applaud your creativity you’ve shown you have a flare,
You have talents in this area of which I was completely unaware.
Thank you, I must confess I long to add some novelty to this endeavor,
I’d like to be known as an artist, as someone who in his work is clever.
The only thing that keeps me from pursuing your plan to its ultimate fruition,
Is that is seems a bit complicated and might draw unwanted suspicion.
When you do your job with that extra added flourish, people tend to notice,
The last thing that we need is added attention and the media trying to quote us.
I see your point and I understand but I think that this might do the trick,
What if we hide behind the door, then when he enters in we hit him with a brick.
It’s always the simple plans that seem to hold up best to the test of time,
I guess that’s why they’ll always call them the classics in our line of crime.
By Tony Lane
Getting Away with Murder Contest