This is a poem of my feelings several years back. I was in my bed crying and sending text messages to my email from my phone, my thoughts and what I was feeling, I do not keep a journal...when was cleaning my emails out I ran across those feelings, the words, I put them into this poem-so-to-speak. I shared the poem not because of the poetic expression, but because of the raw feelings and emotions.
I lie awake thinking of the agony of it
all. A hold ripped into my heart. The pain
of loss and what might have been. How can
there be life without life.
My stomach rots with pain. Love lost
because of honor before desire. Oh God,
what is to become of me now.
I fear not death because I have already
died a death worse than death because in
death the pain of life comes to its end.
Then what is this death with pain. A death
knowing there will be no good morning sunshine.
Edward J Ebbs