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Rime of the Ridiculous Mariner
" Rime of the Ridiculous Mariner "
{warbled to the Merry Tune: Jingle Bells!}
Jingle Bells & Flyin' Hulls
All sheets in so tight~
Yikes Ahoy! There's the ploy!
Sail right through this night!
Run downwind beat to weather
fall off as ye wish~
Set your mizzen up yer main
tops'ls catch all flyin' fish!
All's well in yer cockleshell
if'n yer head be screwed on right~
Ne'er fear horizon's near
as ye sail as though in flight!
Some shall say if they may
yer off yer rocker tonight~
They them are whot's ne'er far
from bein' sunk from sight!
So this I say to them that may
now hold your hands aloft!
Fer if ye think a sieve will sink
yer mind is goin' soft~
A hole is but what a troll doth see
when all is nightly dark~
For they who may shall thusly say
to all a merry Hark!
Plug yer doubts & ne'er pout
for all shall soon be fine~
Break the cask & lift the flask
let's drink up all this wine!
Sail the ship & give the slip
to all that's dark & dull~
Rock & roll fill the bowl
let's sail this mighty hull!
To those who think this rime doth stink..
damn I say to ye~
Try yerself those wines top shelf
& stand so we all may see!
Fer if yer not all outta pot
& ain't fell in the drink~
I'll pipe right down without a frown
& really begin to think!
The smoke will show all such folk
whot's made me mind so daft~
Fer always have me wishes come
of that whot's all abaft!
One day soon shall then I swoon
as knowledge comes to me~
That all me life I've had me wife
around me as the sea!
Now this then is reason 'tis
me sits alone in bed~
Fer last wench was had me heart
we fell so soon apart!
She caught me far below the keel
& spoutin' off me spiel~
I tried me best but failed the test
got caught showin' off me eel!
Now I sail tied to the rail
for all mermaids to see~
He who did dare to bid
for just a moment's glee!
All whot was dear & near
such truly did'st I wish~
But Har! 'Twas sure underrr that keel
she surely was a dish!
Avast! Ye say! 'Tis way too much
all this rime of such~
So shall I agree as with my sea
fer I've had me quite a touch!
I'll leave ye now & point me bow
into a raging wave~
Fer now ye know I'm all a'blow
& naught but sea do crave!
Jingle Bells & Flyin' Hulls
All sheets in so tight~
Yikes Ahoy! There's the ploy!
I'll sail right through this night!
SeaWolf
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